Thursday, 24 June 2010

I am a mean, cruel mummy. And proud of it!

Things I have told my children:
  • You can't buy cocoa pops / Frosties in the UK (we rarely take them to the supermarket, preferring online shopping).
  • When the Ice Cream Van plays music it is calling for more ice cream as it has run out.
  • If they are exhibiting an annoying behaviour I tell them that a random sign says that is banned in where ever we are.
  • The balloons on sale in the highstreet are only for show or only Grannies are allowed to buy them.
I am sure there are more, I forget how mean I can be! I call it sanity saving because I know my parents did it to me to save their sanity on occasions. The one that took the longest to drop was "Only aunts and uncles can put their elbows on the table". The penny dropped that that was a fallacy last year when I was telling my girls to take their elbows off the table. I was 31, oh dear!

Does anyone else have any corkers? Am I missing any other tricks?


The Runner said...

I remember bring taken on a canal boat holiday and told that it was the job of the youngest member of the crew to swab the decks and shine the brass.

I was nine. Penny only dropped last year.

But by far the most outstanding lie my parents told me was the following.

We were camping, in France on a friend's farm in Bordeaux (why oh why have I lost touch with them?!) and I was 5. One night, my parents went up to the farmhouse to fetch some water after it had got dark and me and my brother had been put to bed. As they walked back across the field with a torch, they heard me ask my brother if that was lightning. So, mildly tiddled (oh come on, we were in Bordeaux!) they decided between them to create a thunderstorm, involving my Dad making thunder noises, and my Mum tipping the water that they had collected all over the tent to make "rain". Apparently it was all they could do to not piss themselves laughing and give the game away.

Joke was slightly on them though, as they had to walk half a mile back to the farmhouse and fetch more water.

I found out that it wasn't a real thunderstorm when I was twenty-five. Gits.

wyrdthing said...

My mum always told me that cooking chocolate was like cooking apples and if you ate it you'd get stomach ache.

In my late teens I saw her munch a square of cooking chocolate so said "You'll get stomache ache!" She looked at me and said "You didn't believe that, did you?" :lol:

JaneV said...

My mum told Jennie and Ellie that the Body Shop Peppermint Foot Lotion was magic sleeping cream. Worked a treat! Vix - I have a feeling we've tried this with Phoebe.