Wednesday, 2 June 2010

Explaining Step-Families to a 4.5 yr old.

Today we spent the day with Grannie in Battersea Park. We had a fab time with bikes, a picnic, a zoo visit and ice cream!

Phoebe likes to figure out the relations between everyone and we have long talks about Grannie being my Mummy and Papous being my Daddy. This happened today as per usual, once I had confirmed these bits there was silence as she thought. Then she asked about Grande, was he my Daddy too? I told her he was my Extra Daddy and YiaYia was my Extra Mummy because I am very lucky and have 2 Mummies and 2 Daddies.

At some point she is going to ask why, I am trying to think of a way to explain it without worrying her that Paul and I will spilt up and she will get Extra Mummies and Daddies. I think I will go with telling her that Grannie and Papous decided they didn't want to be married anymore and that eventually they found Grande and YiaYia. I will have to add in something about "sometimes it happens but not all the time".

It is making my head hurt... hopefully she will ask where babies come from before then, I have that answer sorted out already!


Claire said...

Life isn't simple, is it?! At some point I have to explain to Charlie that Jonny has a different Dad, one whom we never see. The difficulty with that is that I have to take J and Dom's feelings into account at the same time. On the other hand, I don't want it to be some sort of big secret that gets revealed at some point in the future.

I used to worry that J was disadvantaged. However I remember one birthday party where I realised there was only one child with both birth parents still living together. It's just been the norm for them, and they've never felt insecure about their place in the world.

Kids are amazingly resilient and understanding if you're straight with them. Of course, I find it impossible to take on my own advice :-P

Actually, I am going to talk to Charlie today. Thanks for the kick up the bum xx

JaneV said...

try explaining "why do Mike and Graham sleep in the same bed" to an eight year old! x