Co-sleeping, Sleeptalking FAIL.

So at 4.30 am this morning Clara came into her room with monkey, Babbit and her drink (3 sure signs that she will absolutely NOT go back to her bed) I lift up the duvet resignedly and in she gets and wriggles around. Half an hour later I realise her kicks are actually quite painful... few minutes later I realise she is still wearing her shoes from where I transferred her to bed from the car. I liberate her from shoes and we sort of settle down into a doze until Mr V sleep talks. Now normally his sleep talking is very amusing, longings for flame throwers telling his mother to fuck off and other things that have me in fits. I can now confirm that the absolutely worst thing anyone could ever utter whilst sharing a bed with their 2 year old child is this:

Right, who wants to open some present.

Never have I seen a child go from zero to bouncing so fast, it took me blinking ages to calm her down and get her to snooze again.