Wednesday, 14 October 2009

I've cocked up and I apologise.

I have deleted my rant post. If I have offended I apologise unreservedly. I am hurt, upset and have only a couple of places where I can vent myself.

I honestly don't understand how everything has come to this Chez Moi, I spend all day wondering if it is me. Do I deserve to be here, do I deserve to breathe this oxygen. How can I when I seem to hurt people and upset them without intending to.

If I could turn back time and not be ill or just have remembered to send that sodding email I would. However I can't and it seemed like everything has been slipping away from me since then.

I know I make no sense, I wish I understood my thoughts and feelings somehow. It would make everything so less dark in my head. If I had the courage to disappear I would but I don't. Instead I cocked up and acted rashly because I didn't know who I could trust. I was wrong.

Please don't think this is passive aggressive or anything untoward, it isn't. It is just one confused, hurt and sad woman's utterings because I have no where else to write it.


englishgirlinwales said...

Brightest blessings Vix

Hang on in there and i'm sure everything will right it's self in some form.


Daisy78 said...

Hope you are ok, I didn't read what you deleted. You always come across as a lovely person to me and if I lived closer I would love to meet you. I'm not a weird stalker - honest!

Don't be too hard on yourself, big hugs x

l'optimiste said...

oi!! blogs are for ranting and gibbering. do what you will, but never delete. you can say what you like.

as the old saying goes: those who mind, don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind.

last year you were fab to me. you didn't need to be. you have your own life. oxygen?? course you deserve it.

find me a person who hasn't cocked up and acted rashly. I defy you to. I do it all the time!! and I never delete, just because I know everyone does it.

big big hugs babe - don't be so hard on yourself - no-one else will be...

Muddling Along Mummy said...

I didn't read what you deleted but it sounds like you need this place to write and to work through things

I wish I could come over and give you a massive hug - you've come through so much and this too will pass