I have deleted my rant post. If I have offended I apologise unreservedly. I am hurt, upset and have only a couple of places where I can vent myself.
I honestly don't understand how everything has come to this Chez Moi, I spend all day wondering if it is me. Do I deserve to be here, do I deserve to breathe this oxygen. How can I when I seem to hurt people and upset them without intending to.
If I could turn back time and not be ill or just have remembered to send that sodding email I would. However I can't and it seemed like everything has been slipping away from me since then.
I know I make no sense, I wish I understood my thoughts and feelings somehow. It would make everything so less dark in my head. If I had the courage to disappear I would but I don't. Instead I cocked up and acted rashly because I didn't know who I could trust. I was wrong.
Please don't think this is passive aggressive or anything untoward, it isn't. It is just one confused, hurt and sad woman's utterings because I have no where else to write it.