Sunday, 13 February 2011

Under Pressure.

Clara starts school in September and then I have to Get On With My Life. You have no idea how absolutely fucking terrifying this is. I am a jack of all trades but master of none and I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. The thought of having to do it puts a lump in my throat and makes me feel physically sick and teary.

I have a few major issues.

1, I enjoy doing lots of things but I am not actually good enough to do any of them professionally (and yes I include photography in this).

2, I need something that is either going to pay well straight away so I can afford wrap around care for the girls. OR fit in with school hours (moon on a stick anyone?!).

3, I currently take enough ADs to keep me stable whilst I am at home and don't go out a lot. I don't know how I will cope in any other environments for sustained periods.

Just a few worries then! I need to really starting thinking about this because I have roughly 7 months to make decisions before I have to start doing something about it properly. I feel sick with the stress of it!

2 comments:

LV said...

Same boat, no paddle.

I have no idea what I want to do (well, I want to write filth and maybe work in Waterstones, but it seems that vacancies are rare. Le sigh). Wait until you go to a recruitment agency; they made me feel about 45 in three seconds (also: never tell a recruitment consultant that you write porn!).

Can you work from home doing anything, or does it need to be an out-of-the-house type thing? Fingers crossed for you. I know how rubbish it is.

I am terrified that I'll end up being a dinner lady...

Hettie said...

Yeah, it's pretty much impossible. Sorry for the "encouragement"! I've solved it for now by working a sideways role that's ever so flexible but offers little in the way of security. No pension, no holiday pay etc.

Need to have been born 80 years ago... women's lib aint always all that.