Clara is, as many know, boob obsessed. Well as I dried her for her shower she took the time to play with my boobs with much joy. Then her father entered post shower and laughed with us, especially as I asked Clara some questions about her and my body, and her Daddy's.
Me: What did mummy's boobs make?
C: MILK!
Me: Where did the milk come from?
C: Yours nipples
Me: that's right... do you have nipples?
C: [searches down top] YES!
Me: Does Daddy have nipples?
C: [Goes for a hug with Daddy] Yes!
Daddy: Mine don't make milk though, they are muscles not nice boobs like Mummy's [thank you dearest!]
C: [looks confused]
Me: That is because Daddy is a boy darling. What does Daddy have that we don't?
C: [mulls it over for a little bit] APPLE JUICE!
Saturday, 28 May 2011
Wednesday, 25 May 2011
What songs are Preschool teaching my daughter?!
Clara is sat next to me singing what sounds like the following:
Here is a Box
Put on a lid
Wonder what's inside
Wonder what's hid
Here is a Mummy!
Without any top
Out of the box she comes with a POP
Erm....
I suspect I am hearing things again as when Phoebe started and they were practicing I was convinced the lyrics for their Father Christmas song were rude as they sounded very like:
Father Christmas
Father Christmas
He Got Stuck
He Got Stuck
Coming Down the Chimney
Coming down the chimney
So that's Christmas Fucked
Christmas Fucked....
it wasn't of course but I didn't hear it the right way for ages and ages!
Here is a Box
Put on a lid
Wonder what's inside
Wonder what's hid
Here is a Mummy!
Without any top
Out of the box she comes with a POP
Erm....
I suspect I am hearing things again as when Phoebe started and they were practicing I was convinced the lyrics for their Father Christmas song were rude as they sounded very like:
Father Christmas
Father Christmas
He Got Stuck
He Got Stuck
Coming Down the Chimney
Coming down the chimney
So that's Christmas Fucked
Christmas Fucked....
it wasn't of course but I didn't hear it the right way for ages and ages!
Tuesday, 24 May 2011
Right body... I want words.
Now listen up... there is a time and a place to get iffy and there is also an order to things.
1, Cystitis is hideous.
2, Bloated stomach and IBS stuff is hideous.
3, Cold is hideous.
All three together is just rude and, more to the point, unnecessary! Stop it, pull yourself together and get well this instant dammit! If I have to spend another day on the loo tomorrow I will be most displeased.
That is all.
1, Cystitis is hideous.
2, Bloated stomach and IBS stuff is hideous.
3, Cold is hideous.
All three together is just rude and, more to the point, unnecessary! Stop it, pull yourself together and get well this instant dammit! If I have to spend another day on the loo tomorrow I will be most displeased.
That is all.
Friday, 20 May 2011
Conversations with a 5 and a 3 yr old.
In the car on the way home from Phoebe's ballet lesson.
P: Mummy, guess what at Christmas a pixie snuck in and left us Christmas Pyjamas whilst you were making snacks and we were in the bath. Then Father Christmas came and left us PRESENTS! Will he come again this Christmas?!*
Me: Well, Father Christmas only brings presents to certain people...
P: Who are they?!
Me: Well who doesn't get presents from Father Christmas...
P: Naughty boys and girls.
Me: Ok so what is the opposite of naughty?
Clara: Asleep.
Hmmm, I can't help but think she has a damn good point!
*No idea where this conversation came from, she is very into menembering (sic) at the moment.
P: Mummy, guess what at Christmas a pixie snuck in and left us Christmas Pyjamas whilst you were making snacks and we were in the bath. Then Father Christmas came and left us PRESENTS! Will he come again this Christmas?!*
Me: Well, Father Christmas only brings presents to certain people...
P: Who are they?!
Me: Well who doesn't get presents from Father Christmas...
P: Naughty boys and girls.
Me: Ok so what is the opposite of naughty?
Clara: Asleep.
Hmmm, I can't help but think she has a damn good point!
*No idea where this conversation came from, she is very into menembering (sic) at the moment.
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
Parenting FAIL.
Oh dear. I pulled a doozy today...
not feeling great anyway (see previous post) so I spent a large portion of this afternoon dozing on the sofa willing my stomach to stop churning before we left to get Phoebe at 15.30. I got a little confused as normally we don't see Yo Gabba Gabba but I thought Nick Jr had been playing with timings but didn't think more of it until the titles rolled and I told Clara to get her shoes on because we had to get Phoebe. As I looked up at the clock in the living room the following happened in my brain.
Time to get Phoebe
School ends at 15.00
It is now 15.30
OH MY GOD IT IS 15.30 AND PHOEBE HAS BEEN WAITING FOR ME FOR HALF AN HOUR, THAT IS WHY WE DON'T WATCH YO GABBA GABBA, IT IS ON WHILST WE ARE DOING THE SCHOOL RUN... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
At which point I rang school to tell them I was on the way and was shoving shoes on Clara's feet at the speed of light, diving in the car and getting to school.
She was absolutely fine, happily sat with her beloved teacher and bending the ears of the office staff when I turned up! I was guilt ridden even more because she made it onto the Superstar board today for excellent writing! So I took them out for a McFlurry to celebrate her achievement...!
not feeling great anyway (see previous post) so I spent a large portion of this afternoon dozing on the sofa willing my stomach to stop churning before we left to get Phoebe at 15.30. I got a little confused as normally we don't see Yo Gabba Gabba but I thought Nick Jr had been playing with timings but didn't think more of it until the titles rolled and I told Clara to get her shoes on because we had to get Phoebe. As I looked up at the clock in the living room the following happened in my brain.
Time to get Phoebe
School ends at 15.00
It is now 15.30
OH MY GOD IT IS 15.30 AND PHOEBE HAS BEEN WAITING FOR ME FOR HALF AN HOUR, THAT IS WHY WE DON'T WATCH YO GABBA GABBA, IT IS ON WHILST WE ARE DOING THE SCHOOL RUN... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
At which point I rang school to tell them I was on the way and was shoving shoes on Clara's feet at the speed of light, diving in the car and getting to school.
She was absolutely fine, happily sat with her beloved teacher and bending the ears of the office staff when I turned up! I was guilt ridden even more because she made it onto the Superstar board today for excellent writing! So I took them out for a McFlurry to celebrate her achievement...!
Wail... will I never learn?!
Symptoms of hangover:
Headache : CHECK
Lethargic : CHECK
washing machine stomach : CHECK
Bloating: CHECK
Did I consume my own body weight in alcohol to deserve such punishment? No I had too much dairy. I feel so so rotten today and I don't deserve this fall out from just dairy. S'not fair.
Headache : CHECK
Lethargic : CHECK
washing machine stomach : CHECK
Bloating: CHECK
Did I consume my own body weight in alcohol to deserve such punishment? No I had too much dairy. I feel so so rotten today and I don't deserve this fall out from just dairy. S'not fair.
Tuesday, 17 May 2011
Phoebe's Book
Phoebe's Book a video by ***Vix*** on Flickr.
Look what my clever clever girl made all by herself! There was absolutely no parental input in this book it is all her own work!
Paul and I are so so so proud of her!
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