Sleep Overs...

Phoebe had her friend N over for a sleep over tonight. They started off in her room but N took issue with the blue wall in there and when I came up to comfort him he played his ace. He declared he wanted his Mummy, alas I knew that wasn't a possibility so I played the only card I could think of and suggested that they might like to watch Wizard of Oz (oh thank you timely Love Film!) in my bed and try and go to sleep in there. Thankfully that worked like a charm and by the time Paul and I climbed up the stairs to go to bed they had both fallen asleep!

Paul moved them back into Phoebe's room without issue thankfully!

Seriously Impressive Bruising!

Clara has a shiner. I should be horrified for the poor wee love, she thwacked her face on a slide in softplay last week. And I am, I really am. But still you HAVE to appreciate a good bruise and oh my, it is a good one. Starts on her cheek bone and then works its way up to her eye with a myriad of colours as well!

I mean is that not a seriously impressive bruise?! It is the Clara Way, if you are going to do it... do a Good Job of it!

The Kamikaze Kid rules supreme!

Oh and I have absolutely NOT been telling her to tell people that the Easter Bunny beat her up... No sir not me!

Do you know the BEST thing about having Phoebe?

She has absolutely no "they are a bit different" radar to speak of.

Take yesterday when we went to our friend Lexi's birthday party, she fitted right in with the boys who all have autism or something along those lines. She was in ecstasies about the lego figure in the party bags and about all the lego Lexi got for his birthday. She didn't make any comment on the fact that J was wearing Ear Defenders (something P does voluntarily when things get too much for her anyway!). It was also great for her as no one batted an eye that she didn't want her pizza because it wasn't round and pizzas are meant to be round (I have to say these friends wouldn't have batted an eyelid anyway but it was nice to be at a party where quirky was the norm!). Or her mild panic that the sugar in the cake would make her sick!

My particularly proud moment came when we headed off to the SEN play session at a local soft play area. There was a boy, lets call him O, who came running out of there as soon as our lot entered saying they shouldn't be there. We explained that they were autistic so it was allowed and that settled that. It transpired that O likes hugging little girls so the 3 non quirky girls were prime hugging material so spent a lot of time running away from him. Phoebe once she realised that he just wanted to be friends went and hugged him, took him by the hand and played with him beautifully! His Mum was really quite touched and Phoebe is still talking about O today.

Phoebe has loads of quirks that make her stand out alone amongst her peers a lot of the time but she also has a massive all encompassing heart and absolutely no fear of showing it. Once she has someone pigeon holed in her head (I think she has an internal naughty / nice list) she will be unfailingly kind and loving.

Next week's party will be more interesting for her as it is Rowan's birthday and this means hoards of 6-7yr old girls! I am predicting Phoebe and Lexi, iphones and headphones! Still Clara will have a ball, her and Rowan are so close it is lovely to see. It is nice for them to have each other too as they both miss out on the traditional sibling interaction on some levels.

There are a few negatives to opening your eyes to the fact that something isn't quite right with your child. But some of the benefits are amazing and Phoebe's massive heart and willingness to use it is definitely one of them!

We got the letter.

Phoebe has been accepted to CAMHS (Children and Mental Health Services) for review. This is the first hurdle in identifying what is going on with her. It was up in the air as to whether she would get accepted because a, they have next to no money and b, she is fine educationally (more than fine in fact, she is doing brilliantly!).

We also have the school on our side because whilst she is coping well in the class we have had lots of moments where she obviously hasn't coped. Memorably there was the day that Miss B moved PE from the start of school until after break and it threw Phoebe off kilter big time all day. Then there was the school trip to the transport museum. Went brilliantly until the presentation and the actor they had showing us around told us that we would be going back to the past via the medium of a pop up play tunnel. Phoebe took this literally and panicked, major tears and shrieking that she didn't want to go... clinging onto me. It took me and Miss B to calm her down (every time the phrase "go back to the past" was uttered it set her off again!) despite our giggles! However this has given us a few tools to abuse if / when the Ed-Psych comes to review her at school. Miss B is going to change things around to set Phoebe off knowing that she will demonstrate her panics.

I actually cannot praise the school enough, as soon as I mentioned my thoughts on Phoebe they said it was like someone had clicked focus and suddenly they saw it too. She has been in less trouble as they are more understanding that she often cannot help shouting out and that it is often easier to just go with it rather than fight it. Miss B is fantastic with her and is able to see and help her struggles in the play ground (it is un-structured so that is where she gets a bit lost). Educationally they keep pushing her where she needs it and appreciating her views on things. I feel very lucky that she has such caring staff. And to think I was worried about her going to this school... large slice of humble pie to table one please!

Personally though I am struggling a bit. Managing her behaviour and balancing that with making sure Clara is also feeling secure is exhausting. I feel like I am walking a tight rope a lot of the time and mostly just want to curl up and have a good cry that my baby is struggling and I can't make it all better. I have to get over this and remember that what ever happens Phoebe is just the same fabulous little girl she has always been and that, really, I am very very blessed with my girls.

Reasons I love my husband.

Even though he is working this weekend (yes people, he is working on Mothering Sunday). He is fabulous and wonderful and I am a lucky lucky girl to have him.

This weekend gone he worked hard (with my help... lets not forget my part in it!) making the garden pretty again. He built an area in the corner that is now home to a bench and a metal arch that will have clematis growing up it (when it arrives). I painted the back wall of the garden pink and we cleaned and sorted the patio. He took on the behemoth that was the rabbited Forsythia and dug up the root ball (and with a tap root the size of my arm it really was an impressive feat!) and transplanted a Yukka Tree in there. He also moved his raised bed to a new location and therefore all the dirt contained there. Oh and he built a bike area at the back of our shed which frees up a lot of (much needed) space in the shed. I stained the decking a nice colour and sorted out the girls garden toys.

Is this why I love him so? Well yes but mostly it is because he didn't mind me waking him up with a mammoth fit of the giggles on Saturday night. He caused the giggles admittedly by turning over and sleep talking in my ear. In the past we have had awesome sleep comments from him, my favourite being about a flame thrower and how he would like a go. This time the words he lovingly muttered into my ear at midnight were:

Damn Those Fucking Vampires!

I seriously couldn't breathe for laughing at him and I had tears running down my face!

Oh how I love him!

Mummy... Where did you live when the earth was built...?

Asks Phoebe en route to swimming!

I told her I wasn't alive when the earth was built as it was made millions of years ago. She thought for a minute then asked if I was dead. I explained I wasn't dead as I hadn't been born yet. She paused a little whilst thinking about this and then asked...

Where did Granny live then?!

That'll go down well then!

I can now officially put my elbows on the table!

I became an Aunty today so, according to my Mother and Aunt at least, I can now rest my elbows on the table with a clear conscience!

In all seriousness my lovely sister Jennie and her husband Shane welcomed their twin girls Roisin and June today! I am delighted for them and really hoping that Jennie will be well enough for us to go and see them and the babies soon!

My two girls are thrilled and were desperate to meet them today! Clara thought they should be called Cinderella and Pinky though but I am sure she will come around to the fabulous names the girls have!