Or a small insight into the scary recesses of Phoebe's mind.
Me: What did you do today?
Phoebe: Played Hamsters
Me: Oh? How do you play that then?
Phoebe: Well there are 3 people who play the hamsters and 1 who plays the cat.
Me: Sounds fun, were you a cat or a hamster?
Phoebe: Don't be silly Mummy I was the Mum!
Me: [getting a bit confused] Well what did you do?
Phoebe: [now sounding as though she is talking to an idiot] tell the cat NO!
Me: Erm, why?
Phoebe: Because the cat has to try and eat the hamsters!
Me: Ooohhhhh....
I fear her sometimes...She has the craziest imagination!
Monday, 7 February 2011
Sunday, 6 February 2011
If I close my eyes do I still exist?
I often feel like a square peg in a world of round holes. Like there is something about me that just doesn't fit, no matter how hard I try. I can't explain it in great depth but it is a feeling I have carried for as long as I can remember. The Amazing Forgetable Woman maybe?!
Maybe it is because I have to try? Being sociable, no matter the impression I give, does not come easy to me and I struggle in a lot of situations. I try and be nice and chatty but the problem is I am not very interesting (see baby bore post that I would link to I'd I weren't on my iPhone!). I don't have a lot in my life and I find people who do a bit scary and intimidating if truth be told. I wish I didn't as deep down I am fascinated by the wonderful phenomenon of humanity. I worry (more than ever since the breakdown) that people see me as a perpetual eeyore and as much as I try to hide what ever is my brains torment of choice I am never feel like I have done a good enough job. Probably because I need more than anything to let go of the reins and throw an almighty tantrum about everything. That won't happen though as it means loss of control over the only thing I have control over inside me.
Gah! This self pitying post has been bought to you by a missing pack of 75mg tablets. Proving once more I am still too bonkers to go without.
Maybe it is because I have to try? Being sociable, no matter the impression I give, does not come easy to me and I struggle in a lot of situations. I try and be nice and chatty but the problem is I am not very interesting (see baby bore post that I would link to I'd I weren't on my iPhone!). I don't have a lot in my life and I find people who do a bit scary and intimidating if truth be told. I wish I didn't as deep down I am fascinated by the wonderful phenomenon of humanity. I worry (more than ever since the breakdown) that people see me as a perpetual eeyore and as much as I try to hide what ever is my brains torment of choice I am never feel like I have done a good enough job. Probably because I need more than anything to let go of the reins and throw an almighty tantrum about everything. That won't happen though as it means loss of control over the only thing I have control over inside me.
Gah! This self pitying post has been bought to you by a missing pack of 75mg tablets. Proving once more I am still too bonkers to go without.
Friday, 4 February 2011
If there was ever any doubt about Clara's manipulation skills....
Clara has had slapped cheek, although in true Clara style she was fine until the rash came up where upon she turned into even more of a Drama Queen than usual. So she has been off school for the last two days [manical laughter]. Yesterday I felt quite sorry for her as she did look as if I had walloped both her cheeks to a red frenzy and they were hot to touch although she only decided she was "poorly sick" once I told her she couldn't go to school. Anyway we headed to Asda whereupon I felt unusually generous to the poor wee soul and so purchased Snow White at the bargain price of £7 (given that we watched it 5 times in 24 hrs it is def a bargain!). I also purchased her a Disney Princess magazine and we read some in a vain attempt to convince myself that Disney Princesses are all empowering and shit like that.
Today I was a little less sympathetic, mostly as I tried to drop her off at school and she wasn't allowed so I was in a bad mood as I had to look after my own daughter. She got home, stripped off and donned her Cinderella dress ready to watch showing number 5 of Snow White. Halfway through I was given the order to "PAUSE IT" as she had to go to the toilet. A little while later she started calling me upstairs. Now bad mother that I am I was in the middle of a tomb exploration in Sims 3 and knowing full well she is capable of toileting solo I didn't want to go up. The conversation went thus:
Clara: Muuuuuuuuuummmy
Me: Coming
Clara: Muuuuummmmmmyyyyyyy, I needs tap on.
Me: yes yes I am just coming hang on a minute...
Clara: Muuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Me: [at crucial point of tomb]YES?!
Clara: I loves you
Me: [guilt button firmly pressed, pauses sims, goes upstairs to clear up small child]
Gah... the child has me wrapped around her finger! Mind you a dear friend described a Clara tantrum as "like being trapped at the business end of a jet engine during take-off" so I will give myself a well deserved break from The Mummy Guilt and look forward to those blissful 3 hours on Monday Morning where I am sans children. But with a paintbrush this time :D
Today I was a little less sympathetic, mostly as I tried to drop her off at school and she wasn't allowed so I was in a bad mood as I had to look after my own daughter. She got home, stripped off and donned her Cinderella dress ready to watch showing number 5 of Snow White. Halfway through I was given the order to "PAUSE IT" as she had to go to the toilet. A little while later she started calling me upstairs. Now bad mother that I am I was in the middle of a tomb exploration in Sims 3 and knowing full well she is capable of toileting solo I didn't want to go up. The conversation went thus:
Clara: Muuuuuuuuuummmy
Me: Coming
Clara: Muuuuummmmmmyyyyyyy, I needs tap on.
Me: yes yes I am just coming hang on a minute...
Clara: Muuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Me: [at crucial point of tomb]YES?!
Clara: I loves you
Me: [guilt button firmly pressed, pauses sims, goes upstairs to clear up small child]
Gah... the child has me wrapped around her finger! Mind you a dear friend described a Clara tantrum as "like being trapped at the business end of a jet engine during take-off" so I will give myself a well deserved break from The Mummy Guilt and look forward to those blissful 3 hours on Monday Morning where I am sans children. But with a paintbrush this time :D
Thursday, 3 February 2011
It's official... I married a madman!
My wonderful husband is, voluntarily (!), running 26.2 miles around London on the 17th April... AKA The London Marathon. I think he is crackers as frankly I wouldn't run to the car unless it was raining, but then I suppose that makes him the better person doesn't it!
He is running in aide of The Neuro Foundation which is, I am sure you agree, a worthy cause and if you care to sponsor him and his team mates (Gary and Stephen) they will be very appreciative:
http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/team/GaryPaulandStephenruntheMarathon
Training is going really well so far, Paul ran 15 miles last Saturday in 2hrs 20min (although he is keen to point out that it isn't at "Race Pace" [sigh]) and is on track for being able to run the whole thing come The Big Day. Naturally we are doing all we can to help and aide his training in a more all round way than running along roads so this weekend in addition to running 12 miles on Saturday he will also be working out his upper body by painting the living room ceiling. Aren't I kind to him, ensuring a well rounded body work out?!
His supporters will, of course, be there for him (Possibly with glittery Pom Poms if Clara gets her way) at the start and finish. And because of the wonderful app he is using on his phone we should be able to track him which is pretty dang cool!
Seriously though, I am very very proud of him. I know this has been one of his big ambitions since I met him (so 10yrs ago) but I remember him laughing at me when I suggested he made it a reality a few years ago as he didn't think he was up to it!
He is running in aide of The Neuro Foundation which is, I am sure you agree, a worthy cause and if you care to sponsor him and his team mates (Gary and Stephen) they will be very appreciative:
http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/team/GaryPaulandStephenruntheMarathon
Training is going really well so far, Paul ran 15 miles last Saturday in 2hrs 20min (although he is keen to point out that it isn't at "Race Pace" [sigh]) and is on track for being able to run the whole thing come The Big Day. Naturally we are doing all we can to help and aide his training in a more all round way than running along roads so this weekend in addition to running 12 miles on Saturday he will also be working out his upper body by painting the living room ceiling. Aren't I kind to him, ensuring a well rounded body work out?!
His supporters will, of course, be there for him (Possibly with glittery Pom Poms if Clara gets her way) at the start and finish. And because of the wonderful app he is using on his phone we should be able to track him which is pretty dang cool!
Seriously though, I am very very proud of him. I know this has been one of his big ambitions since I met him (so 10yrs ago) but I remember him laughing at me when I suggested he made it a reality a few years ago as he didn't think he was up to it!
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
A movie of thoughts....
Over Christmas Paul and I recorded the film Mr Majoricum's Wonder Emporium mostly for the children because I liked the sound of the title and a little bit of the bumph, I mean what is not to like about a magical toy store?
Well we sat down to watch it and the girls just weren't interested but it absolutely captivated me. It tells such an important lesson. It tells me that death shouldn't be about mourning the loss of someone but celebrating the life of them. Something I have always believed anyway really but this film expresses it in such a wonderfully tangible way. It describes our lives as a story, and how when one ends another begins and that is such a perfect way of looking at things. No story can last forever and we should make our story the most wonderful one we can imagine.
There are quotes in this movie that I would love to have read at my funeral. Not in a morbid way but because it totally inspires me to make my story as wonderful as possible. This is, I think, my favourite quote:
When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words. I've lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest "He died."
Isn't that a wonderful way to look at life and death?
Well we sat down to watch it and the girls just weren't interested but it absolutely captivated me. It tells such an important lesson. It tells me that death shouldn't be about mourning the loss of someone but celebrating the life of them. Something I have always believed anyway really but this film expresses it in such a wonderfully tangible way. It describes our lives as a story, and how when one ends another begins and that is such a perfect way of looking at things. No story can last forever and we should make our story the most wonderful one we can imagine.
There are quotes in this movie that I would love to have read at my funeral. Not in a morbid way but because it totally inspires me to make my story as wonderful as possible. This is, I think, my favourite quote:
When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words. I've lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest "He died."
Isn't that a wonderful way to look at life and death?
Imbolc is here.
The wheel of the year turns ever onwards and today we celebrate the light slowly returning and anticipate the life that stirs in the soil beneath our feet. Today I decorated a Pentagram and a Goddess form for the Kitchen, I have one more to do for above the Front Door but that can wait until tomorrow:
I also made candles with the girlies... that is to say we made Beeswax candles and they were totally delighted to be able to make them on their own and even more excited when I lit them for them as they ate their tea.
I also managed to clean the house and make a plait loaf as an offering, well some of it anyway! The girls and I also anointed all the windows and the front door to banish the negative energy and welcome in the positive.
It was so much fun doing it all with the children and they were so happy to be helping me and getting involved with all aspects of our faith.
I also managed to clean the house and make a plait loaf as an offering, well some of it anyway! The girls and I also anointed all the windows and the front door to banish the negative energy and welcome in the positive.
It was so much fun doing it all with the children and they were so happy to be helping me and getting involved with all aspects of our faith.
Sunday, 30 January 2011
Crafting for Imbolc
This morning I got up, sorted the clothes out and then headed to my kitchen to make some candles. As you do.
My only disappointment when buying the stuff I needed is that John Lewis had run out of star shaped silicone cupcake cases. Still round ones will suffice.
I also bought pipecleaners the other day and attracted a few strange looks making a St Brighid's cross whilst sat in the waiting room with Clara waiting for Phoebe to finish ballet. However I now have a red and silver one adorning my fireplace in the living room and a silver and gold one over the hob in the kitchen:
Next on my list is a Salt Dough Goddess figure and on Tuesday I think I will make a braided loaf for the girls and I to enjoy whilst we bless the house after school. I, of course, get to do the spring cleaning whilst they are at school but hey ho! I might leave their rooms until they come home and we can do it together before blessing the house.
I am loving getting them involved my faith so much! They love it too as it is very hands on and crafty which appeals to their love of making messes!
My only disappointment when buying the stuff I needed is that John Lewis had run out of star shaped silicone cupcake cases. Still round ones will suffice.
I also bought pipecleaners the other day and attracted a few strange looks making a St Brighid's cross whilst sat in the waiting room with Clara waiting for Phoebe to finish ballet. However I now have a red and silver one adorning my fireplace in the living room and a silver and gold one over the hob in the kitchen:
Next on my list is a Salt Dough Goddess figure and on Tuesday I think I will make a braided loaf for the girls and I to enjoy whilst we bless the house after school. I, of course, get to do the spring cleaning whilst they are at school but hey ho! I might leave their rooms until they come home and we can do it together before blessing the house.
I am loving getting them involved my faith so much! They love it too as it is very hands on and crafty which appeals to their love of making messes!
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