How to survive your childrens' childhood

Aspergers... Here we go.

2012-01-28T19:32:00.003Z

My gorgeous big girl Phoebe has always been a little, well, tricksy!

When she was born we had problems with breastfeeding and she screamed and screamed when presented with the breast. After just a few days of this we ended up moving to formula. It nearly destroyed me as breastfeeding seemed as natural as breathing to me and I couldn't do it. I didn't fathom that Phoebe didn't have the tone in her mouth to be able to do it effectively. Then she was on formula and it became evident she suffered from reflux, badly. When a 3 week old can get her toes wet with sick whilst lying on her back it is fairly obvious there is a problem. The GP's wouldn't help though as she was gaining weight. Then there was this weird rash on her cheeks... my research suggested it might be cows milk intolerance but again no one listened. Then one morning I was changing Phoebe and felt a lump on her back... we were at the walk in centre within minutes and seen quickly. They prescribed antibiotics as they thought it was an infected sting. The first set did nothing, she was allergic to the second set and I refused a third and insisted on a paediatricians appointment for her. Thanks to the choose and book system I was able to book an appt for shortly after a feed and, as I hoped, she barfed beautifully for the paediatrician who diagnosed reflux on the spot. The lump turned out to be a cavernous haemangioma and totally benign (it has now all but disappeared!). Thankfully the reflux and the rash calmed down once she hit 6 months and we started weaning.

We had a nice normal 6 months then, Phoebe was a late mover (no rolling, no crawling until 10 months etc) but nothing out of the ordinary and she was all caught up by the time she was 12 months old. We were so proud of our little toddler that at first it didn't register that she didn't babble at all. She made noises yes, shrieks etc but no Dada or Mamas. She said her first word "shoes" but then forgot and didn't say anything for a long time. When we got to 2 I was concerned but was assured she was "normal" by the HV and it was only just before she went to preschool (a few months before her 3rd birthday) that she was referred to the speech therapy for lack or talking. At that point she had maybe 8 - 10 words. Once she was at preschool she picked up language fairly quickly from the other children around her. It was wonderful to communicate with her without the aide of signs. I remember being nearly in tears at my sister's wedding when the staff thought she was deaf because she signed what she wanted rather than said it. Once speech started coming properly though it came thick and fast and again she caught up so I didn't think too much more about it except for a few pronunciation problems.

Phoebe loved preschool and LOVED her teacher Becky. But she never came home talking about who she played with or who her best friend was. It turned out she mostly played with the boys which was fine and she was happy so again I didn't think anything more of it other than it was a bit sad that she didn't seem to be making friends. She was doing well in everything else and coming out with some corking phrases. I took her on playdates with Mummy friends and I was told that their children always remembered the girls and asked to see them again, I returned the compliments but Phoebe never ever mentioned anyone she had met or asked to see them again. The one exception was Rowan and Lexi but I think that is mostly because she had seen them so often and loved their house almost as a second home! Throughout this period she would watch programmes to the point of obsession, her first one was Brum. She absolutely ADORED that little yellow car and her constant refrain was "More Bum?!". Others included Come Outside, Cars and Horses.

When Phoebe graduated out of Preschool and into Primary I sensed there would be problems as the school was moving at half term. I already knew then that Phoebe did not do change, it upset her and her behaviour deteriorated rapidly if she wasn't prepared properly. I was assured that it would be ok but it wasn't. As soon as the school moved to the new location she started getting warnings and time outs like nobodies business. Teachers were confused and it took about 2 weeks to sort this out. Then they changed the discipline system and we were back to warnings and time outs through the nose! This had thankfully settled by Christmas. Over the break we kept seeing Phoebe watching TV and her eye falling in. We also noticed she had no patience for reading or any other close up work. So we took her to the optician where it turned out that she was hideously long sighted (+6.5 & +7). The difference in her as soon as she wore glasses was amazing.

From the age of 20 months Phoebe got her sister Clara. We always joked "There is something about Clara" as she was just so much more personable than Phoebe was. She smiled easily, she talked early (oh boy did she talk...) and she would come home from Preschool with tales of who she played with and who was her best friend etc. It started occurring to us that actually there wasn't something about Clara, more that there was something about Phoebe. She just wasn't like other little girls her age who were already having the girly dramas of friendships. I bought this up with her reception teacher who assured me she was ok and it was probably because she was so intelligent. I buttoned my lip for a while and watched her. I raised it again with her Yr 1 teacher who said no she didn't have specific friends and flitted between groups of children and really enjoyed doing her work often begging for more!

All the while Paul and I kept talking to each other with our worries about how Phoebe just wasn't like any other 6 yr olds we knew (and there are a fair few!). The thought of going to the docs got more and more necessary. She is obsessed with Harry Potter, doesn't really like making eye contact and most importantly shows no desire to play with other girls her age. She still had made no friends except those that I have cultivated for her. At friend's parties she could usually be found with an iphone sitting quietly in the corner perfectly happy. At her own party she was happiest watching Harry Potter in the living room whilst wearing eardefenders and ignoring her party guests who were all running around screeching as little girls are want to do. We started to suspect that maybe she had Aspergers Syndrome and started to research it. I had watched a program ages ago about Aspie children and, knowing my friend's little boy Lexi who has Autism, I knew it a, manifested differently in girls and b, that Phoebe wasn't autistic in the traditional sense. After discussing things with Paul we both agreed it was sounding more and more likely that this was the "something".

The crunch point came last week. Our lovely rabbit Turvey died suddenly and I found him dead in his hutch. I bought the body in and told the girls the bad news. Clara took it as you would expect with tears and demands of "WHY?!" but Phoebe was very calm and detached, she stroked his body and then asked to look in his eyes to make sure he was really gone. She was able to tell me that her heart turned over and broke a little but she seemed unable to connect this to an actual emotion. I made the call and booked an appt to see her GP. That night Paul and I wrote a list of her "quirks" and we made it to 2 sides of A4 paper with them. I took them with me to the appt and went through them with the GP who agreed it sounded very likely and that she would refer her to CAMHS.

So this is where we are today. Waiting to find out if CAMHS will accept the referral for diagnosis. We have been clear that this does not change her at all. She is still our funny, happy Phoebe who we love all the more for all her quirks! She is so bright and intelligent and usually an utter joy to be around. I love how she speaks in grown up sentences that just don't seem right when they come from a 6 yr old, it makes people stop and laugh. She is the top reader in her class and top in almost all of the subjects they do! She loves to do homework and read books. She loves listening to Harry Potter audio books and playing with her HP lego. There isn't one teacher who knows Phoebe in a negative light at school, I have been sought out to be told how fabulous she is in the past! Her Preschool keyworker is still one of her biggest fans! We have a few problems with her over reactions to silly things but if dealt with calmly they don't last long and thanks to careful managing we don't see many of them.

You may wonder why if we don't have any problems now are we seeking the diagnosis. Well cast your mind back to your own puberty. Remember how hard it was and how confused you were? Imagine that but with a "something" about you that sets you apart a little bit. Harder right? We want Phoebe to understand who she is as she grows up and we think that identifying this part of it will help her do that and enable us to help her manage it in a way that opens more doors for her. It is not a label as such, more an tool we can use as and when we need it.

So this is the start of our journey into a hopeful diagnosis. The first steps on what is hopefully a relatively straight forward path!

Skiing Avec Les Enfants.

2011-12-26T15:58:00.001Z

A belated Happy Yule, Merry Christmas and a Happy Channukah to all!

We have up sticks and fled to Granny's Magic house for the festive period as Paul is long overdue a chance to kill himself by flinging himself down snow covered mountains at speed. Phoebe, aged 6, seems to be following in her father's footsteps by being desperate to try anything to get an adrenalin rush!

So, the girls and I arrived on the 22nd to help Mum and Rob, in Rob's words, throw up Christmas in the house! Much hilarity, tree decorating ensued. Mostly because Grande told them that Father Christmas was transmitting signals via the christmas tree lights which they, of course, bought hook line and sinker! This was inspired, almost as inspired as my telling them that alarm sensors in the house were Father Christmas's secret cameras!

Mum and Rob then took the girls down to St G to see Davide in the Ski Rental place to get them fitted for boots and skis. Phoebe was delighted that she had grown enough to go up to the "big kids" skis and boots (for the unaware as I am, big kids have 2 buckles on their boots and little kids only have 1) and is very proud of her Eagles whilst Clara was thrilled with Ladybird ones. Of course they also need Helmets (go on, guess what lucky Daddy got as his Christmas present!) and we are exceptionally grateful that Davide had a pink one for Clara as the tantrum ratio increases with the decrease in pink levels.

Daddy and Uncle J arrived on the 24th and were received by two small excited girls who couldn't WAIT to get to bed (most unusual but equally most welcome!). Once they had laid out the mince pies, carrots, sugar lumps and port for Father Christmas they were dispatched post haste to bed where they promptly passed out! The adults then indulged in a Seafood feast.... and lo, it was good (unless you are Paul who got Oyster's revenge the next morning!)

Ski School started on Christmas Day so we had a very hectic Christmas Morning. We had to wake the children (goes against every parenting instinct I have!) to see if Father Christmas had been, which he had! We then had a fun half an hour of stocking opening and squeals of delight as they found the things they had asked for. Phoebe was THRILLED with her Innotab, as was Clara but I think her best present was the lipstick she found. This was a late addition to the Christmas List but she banged on about it as she knows I won't buy her lipstick but Father Christmas was. Poor Paul got some funny looks asking for help in the lipstick section of Boots at Gatwick! Funny what makes a Christmas for them isn't it!

Anyway, back to Ski School. Mum came with me up the mountain for the start of ski school at 10am. We took them up, got boots and skis on them, deposited them on the astroturf path (so they can learn to walk in skis), said Bonne Chance to one of the instructors and took up position in the local hotel to wait until 12.30. As we couldn't hear Clara howling we assumed all was well and when we returned at 12.30 we found a beaming Phoebe and a soggy Clara. Yup she had apparently cried the whole lesson and didn't like skiing as it was too fast. Phoebe was as happy as the proverbial piggy and she said she loved it and went really really fast and couldn't wait for the next lesson!

Evil parent that I am the tears didn't disuade me from sending Clara today and whilst she sobbed en route once boots were done up and skis were on she was, for the most part, ok. My stubborn parenting paid off as I came back to two shining happy faces at 12.30 today. Clara told me she had been "very very brave and said WOOOOO HOOOOO" as she skied today and she enjoyed it and can't wait for tomorrow. Phoebe insisted on showing me her skills and my jaw was on the floor as I watched her ski down the hill on her own, stop and climb onto the travellater thingy-bob back up to where I was waiting! She was sooooo proud of herself and she tells me she has been put up a class away from the babies in into the blue class. I am not sure what implications this has but it is nothing but a fabulous thing!

Now I know they are enjoying it I may try some stealth photography tomorrow to see if I can catch them in the act and show them off!

Paul is also enjoying skiing and is delighted that a, he has "advanced" skis this year and b, he is good enough to keep up with Mum, Rob and J! I am told he underplays his skills and is more than capable of just keeping up!

I am enjoying hiding out in the restaurant drinking Vin Chaud and watching movies on Mum's ipad with my new earmuff headphones!

Happy Days

xx

£900 and other stories...

2011-12-12T22:07:00.001Z

Well, I survived the first PTA event and we even MADE MONEY! Total made was £900, profit at around £650 but you have to speculate to accumulate and all that jazz! My partner in crime, Emma, and I are both feeling flush with pride at not only managing to pull it off but doing well and the school are thrilled. Hopefully a few of the parents will have seen that we are friendly, approachable and other people will want in on the fun!

After all that fun yesterday today I set myself the, not too small, task of clearing up the house. Paul helped out like a trooper as he had a half day as we had Clara's Christmas Performance to attend. We can now see the floor in the living room and most of the floor in the dining room and some of the surfaces too! Very exciting :D.

Anyway, Clara's Christmas Performance. Serious kudos to the reception teachers and TAs for their hard work. Teaching 60 children the entire of "The 12 days of Christmas" complete with actions is no mean feat! Clara was a snowflake in "5 Little Snowflakes" and, bless them, the teachers requested a white tee shirt and leggings. Do they not know Clara?! She doesn't DO trousers and a tee shirt. Thankfully Matalan came to the rescue with an adorable snow fairy dress that she wore instead! She did her dance beautifully and loved being on the stage. Most hilariously there was a bit of argy bargy going on when she wasn't on the stage as she wanted to sing Just To Us and someone was rudely standing in her way! Other favourite moments include one of the donkeys sucking it's own toe and several cases of impressive nasal excavation! You have to love 4-5yr olds really!

Father Christmas Mayhem.

2011-12-09T21:10:00.001Z

It has been a busy old week this week. We have had Phoebe's birthday and all the fun that entailed. Then we also had to start selling raffle tickets for the Winter Fete we are putting on at the school. Thursday took the biscuit for "busy days" though. Paul had the morning off so he could come and see Phoebe's school performance of A Camel Called Humph. And the day went like this:

Get to school early to try and sell a few tickets. Got cold so headed to Phoebe's classroom where she got changed. Paul dropped Clara in her classroom where she skipped off happily for a change.

Bagsy chairs in the main hall for the performance and commence the start of selling the tickets whilst chatting to the other parents.

Watch Phoebe and her buddies do a marvellous performance of Humph the Camel. They were fabulous and all performed brilliantly. Paul and I were very proud of Phoebe and all the other children we know in the class.

See children go back to class and head quickly to the parents meeting room where Paul got into Full Father Christmas Regalia and proceeded to go around the school poking his head into classrooms and running passed windows. He then did a massive circuit around the outside of the school during playtime. It caused utter mayhem but was an absolute tonic for the soul to see the children's faces. It was especially brilliant when some of the KS2 children decided to stalk him around the school. This resulted in Paul hiding in some very odd places and ending up having to get changed back into his own gear in the admissions office as yrs 3&4 had blocked the route back to the Parents Meeting Room!

Get home with Paul and our friend Emma and sit down writing out the backs of the raffle tickets. Then I had to drop Emma back and pop into the cinema to get some more prizes for the raffle before heading back to school.

This trip was foiled by hideous traffic so the girls went in and sat with Phoebe's teacher who, bless her, despite tutoring still took them to see the Early Years teachers put on a performance of The Gruffalo! I got there half an hour late for the end of school, missed the performance but was able to participate in the Gruffalo party activities the teachers had set out which was lots of fun. Oh and of course take the opportunity to sell a few more raffle tickets!

Then we met back up with Emma and her son N (who was doing a gymnastic performance at the school) and headed to get a quick pizza dinner before going back (oh yes) to the school for a Books At Bedtime event.

Books at Bedtime was a fantastic thing the teachers put on for the KS1 children. All the children came resplendant in PJs, Dressing Gowns and, in our case, Womble Suits (Fleecy all in ones... I can't remember why we call them Womble Suits but we just do...). They got hot chocolate and biscuits and to sit and read books and have them read to them by the teachers. Then the teachers put on a brilliant performance of "Little Red Hoody" a play of their own creation which was truly hilarious. Naturally the children loved seeing their teachers being silly and got so involved it was fabulous!

It was then, and only then, we could head home and bung the children into bed! Not sure it was possible to have so much fun in one day. It was exhausting yes, but oh so much fun!

Happy 6th Birthday Phoebe.

2011-12-07T13:47:00.001Z

I have a 6yr old!

I have a 6 yr old who can read, write and do maths!

How?!

She was only born 3 days ago it seems!

I am so lucky to have Phoebe in my life, she is funny, intelligent and great company! She has had a brilliant birthday, 2 parties that she enjoyed and we now own enough Harry Potter Lego to sink a battleship (well almost!). She is putting it together herself too (well with a little bit of help from me) and doing so well.

My favourite thing that happened was the trials of her new stuffed white owl named, of course, Hedwig. Poor Hedwig had a few problems settling in with the rest of her toys. They weren't sure about the newcomer. One moose stretched out and made the paw of friendship but the other moose wasn't too sure and the rest of the toys just weren't having any of it. Phoebe tried reading them all stories to get them to bond but no joy. In the end Moose 1 convinced Moose 2 that Hedwig was cool and that helped matters. Thankfully things were solved after just 24 hrs when Phoebe bought Frank the Sausage Dog with some of her Birthday / Christmas money and because Frank because the new newbie Hedwig was happily accepted by the rest of the toys.

For those worried about Frank, don't be. Because he came from the same shop as Carrots the Horse he had an "in" with the toys and was accepted without issue.

Who would have thought the politics of toys would be so complicated!

Back... overwhelmed!

2011-12-01T18:27:00.001Z

I know I haven't blogged for aaaages but things have been manic here!

Why did I take on the PTA... WHHHHHHHHY? Oh, that is right because no one else would!

I am feeling very overwelmed by everything at the moment... wonder why? Here is my "To Do List" for the next week

Tidy and clean house ready for Phoebe's Birthday party on Saturday
Make Hogwarts Cake for birthday party
Do the catering for the party
Find Clara a passable Snowflake costume... she has exacting standards.
Sort out final raffle prizes
Get volunteers for the Fete or I am going to be running it with just Emma for help (Paul will be in the FC costume in the Grotto).
Sort out the Tombola
Make 300 mince pie pinwheels
Make a Snitch Cake for Phoebe's School birthday party
Cater said birthday party
Set up school for Fete
Advertise Fete
Post mahoosive bag of stuff back to Baker Ross
Wrap family Christmas Presents.
Post Family Christmas Gifts
Fit in visit to Hamleys for their Friends and Family Evening.
Do all the laundry

I am telling you people there just isn't enough Gin in the world to help me overcome all of this. I am fretting that no one is going to show up to the Fete and I really do just want this to run fairly smoothly.

I am looking forward to a massive bottle of wine and a take out next weekend once everything is done and dusted!

Potter room DONE!

2011-10-20T16:31:00.001+01:00

And has been for a while but getting it all tidy whilst there is lots of lovely light to photograph it at it's best!

I am so proud of doing it by myself and Phoebe is in heaven in there and loves the spells on the wall and is loving her veyr own Firebolt!

Whilst I was in the mood I decided the dining room needed a make over too so I painted the walls white and put some wallpaper in. It has brightened it up amazingly well:

The whole house has now been redecorated! It has only taken me 7 years since we moved in but hey... it's done and it looks awesome!

We interupt Phoebe's room to show Clara's!

2011-10-04T20:31:00.000+01:00

Phoebe's room is most of the way done. I have still got to wallpaper (there is a radiator in the way) and paint the back wall, dress the window (ideas on a postcard?!) and then we are just waiting on the stickers from America.

In the mean time I decided to do Clara's bedroom as well as I bought the paint with Phoebe's on a BOGOF. That and I was sick of Clara going on and on and on about her ruddy pink bedroom! So yesterday I painted, and I mean painted, with a brush the walls PINK. I was going to do one wall PINK and the other 2 small walls a paler pink but the funny thing about mixing paint in the shadow behind C's bed and in a red bucket so it wasn't quite as pale as I would have liked. Today I wallpapered for the first ever time and managed not to horrify the neighbours with cursing too! And now Clara's room looks like this:

I am particularly pleased with my inspirational idea of going around the quote with a cloud like bubble. This was absolutely nothing to do with being bone crushingly lazy and not being able to face removing it bit by bit and never getting it back on the wall right. Oh no... not at all!

Clara is one very happy, quiet, bunny now!

Operation Phoebe's Room Commences.

2011-09-24T18:08:00.000+01:00

We made a decision a little while ago that we would put moving out of town on the back burner as we can't afford it right now. So that means I am able to indulge Phoebe and Clara in personalised rooms.

Phoebe is first up as her room is long overdue for a titivate. Now her window no longer leaks she has been allowed to pick a colour. Rather predictably she has chosen Blue so I bought a lovely pale blue colour. She has also been allowed to choose a theme, she chose Harry Potter and Hello Kitty. Right, so not too complicated then! We have agreed that the Hello Kitty side of it will be restricted to the light switch cover, bedding and night light already in residence and I will Harry Potter the rest.

So with that in mind and the cool stuff in this book that my lovely friend gave me for my birthday! :

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Harry-Potter-Film-Wizardry-Warner/dp/0593066480/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1316883635&sr=8-2

at my disposal I made Phoebe a Potions chest!

I started with this:

http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/40216357/

from Ikea that I have had lying around the house forever. I painted it cream with some acrylic paints and then applied a load of the potion stickers from the book! This is the net result, I am tempted to varnish it to finish it off before we put the room back together though! :

Phoebe is THRILLED. And quite agrees that it is better to store things like pens, pencils and the like that real potion ingredients. Mostly as we think letting Clara have access to Polyjuice Potion would be disastrous!

First Week of School done!

2011-09-23T21:29:00.003+01:00

Oh dear LORD! Thank heavens that is over. Clara has settled really well but it would seem that all her capacity to be a nice charming child we know and love has been used up at school! At home she has been, well I have wondered if she is possessed on more than one occasion! I handed her over to her swimming teacher on Wednesday with the words "Satan is in residence!" and was proved right when at the very end of the lesson she proceeded to have a tantrum that her goggles weren't tight enough. If they had been any tighter the pressure would have sucked her eyeballs out (or pushed them right to the back of her skull... I am not sure how that whole physic pressure thing works!). And then another one getting dressed, I was somewhat relieved to pile her into bed that night.

The problems come because she is tired. However to Clara admitting this would be like, well, Gaddafi admitting he really thought the Libyan protests were a good idea! So instead until she settles and gets used to the new regime I need to put up and shut up with the stroppy one! At least she is enjoying school and, apparently, learning too! Hopefully it won't be too long until she is more settled and less exhausted!

In other news Phoebe got 10/10 on her spelling test today. I am very proud of her, she is doing great guns on everything at school! Her reading confidence has increased so much and she is actually having a go at reading things other than her school books. She is a smart cookie and I couldn't be prouder!

We are taking over the school!

2011-09-21T21:31:00.003+01:00

After I was elected as chair of the PA last week. Phoebe came home on Monday telling me she was "The Chosen One"... after a little digging I ascertained this had nothing to do with slaying Vampires (phew!). In fact she and a boy from her class have been voted to be Counsellors representing their class on the school council! This means that they will be passing on issues that their class are worried about to the school council along with the rest of the school counsellors!

I am SO proud of her!

Long time... no blog!

2011-09-19T18:02:00.002+01:00

Hello... I have not fallen off the face of the planet obviously! However I have been madly busy since coming back from Greece at the end of August. My time was filled with car shopping (ball ache) and then also getting Phoebe back to school and settled in her new class and Clara started off in school oh and taking over the chair of the Parents Association! I feel like I haven't stopped, however today was Clara's first full day of school so things should return to some semblance of normal I hope!

First things first, car shopping. Oh my lords is there anything worse? However after much time and effort we are now the proud owners of a not too old, not too many miles Ford Focus. It is a bit zoomier than our last car but after a week and a half on the busses it was good to be back with wheels again! The busses were great, it is the people I take issue with. Especially those that expect perfect manners from children but don't actually show the children manners! Would it kill people to say excuse me before barging past a 5 yr old?!

As for school, Phoebe went back a week and a half ago and is now, very proudly, in Year One. She has a lovely new teacher whom she adores. She is in the Red reading band and doing well, this weekend was a bit of a culture shock with the homework she got! She had to write the numbers 1-30 and also had a page of spellings to learn (just simple ones like "the","on","in" etc) ready for a spelling test next Friday and 2 reading books to read over the weekend. I was very surprised by her attitude to doing the homework and it wasn't that bad doing it really.

Clara is now in Reception. Today was her first full day at school and she wasn't too keen on going in this morning. Apparently she had her period like Mummy, a cough and a sore foot (except she then limped across the room on the wrong foot...). Mostly she isn't keen on having to wear Grey and Purple. She is a pink and sparkly kind of girl so I do see the problem but it is rather tough luck that not many schools embrace pink and sparkly uniforms! Once she is there she loves it, she loves her teachers (same ones as Phoebe had last year so she knows them and they know her) and she has made a few friends I think. Getting specific information out of her about what she is doing at school is like pulling teeth though, but I suppose that will come in time!

Oh yes and the chair of the PA... I must be crackers but I have a cunning plan and just need to put it into action now. It was a little bit of take over the chair or no PA so it was an easy decision to stand. I need to contact the school and see what they want from the association and what we want from them. Should be entertaining once we get cracking though!

I shall finish with a pic of my gorgeous school girls that I took this morning!

Sob sob... so grown up!

Cat love...

2011-08-27T10:26:00.000+01:00

Not sure who is happier here...

Phoebe is in cat heaven here... and to our surprise most of the cats are either putting up with her or, in Nile's case, actively seeking her out. The little dog Nancy is also being uncharacteristically sociable when it comes to the girls!

Holibobs, week one!

2011-08-24T11:33:00.001+01:00

As I mentioned in my last entry we are currently staying with my Dad and Stepmum (AKA Papou and Yia Yia (prounounced Yah yah) to the girls) in Greece. This is a total hardship as we are having to put up with such things as 30 degree heat, a (borrowed) private pool, glorious beaches and nightly sunsets like this:

I am sure you all appreciate and, indeed, share my pain.

I jest of course. We are having a wonderful time! As Paul could only really take a week off the girls and I came out without him for a week which was a challenge for me. This meant getting a taxi, train, negotiating through the airport and then, of course, a 3hr flight on my own with them. They were, for the most part, fabulous in the airport. Not least because we discovered that the South Terminal of Gatwick has set up an area for children which shows Cbeebies at one end and CBBC at the other! I have never been so grateful for Captain Barnacles and his crew in my life! The plane was long but thanks to firm rules and a new battery in my laptop they stayed pretty well entertained and well behaved for the ride. In fact the only disaster of the journey was the fact that Phoebe's beloved Moose managed to go missing somewhere between the departure lounge and the plane. We didn't discover this until take off so we had to wait until we were on the island before I could alert anyone (except the airline hostesses of course)! Anyway, Dad was waiting for us when we got off the plane and due to the airport set up I was able to send the girls through to him whilst I waited for the bags. There was a momentary moment of panic when I thought my second bag, containing all Clara's birthday presents and a large box of smelly cheese from my youngest sister to my Dad, wasn't going to come through but it did eventually! Phew! We just had time for a quick ice cream at the port and then we were on the Flying Dolphin to get to the island.

YiaYia was waiting for us at the port on Alonissos and whisked us up to the house where the girls proceeded to get reacquainted with the menagerie here (2 dogs, 15 cats, loads of chickens, a goose, a duck and a turtle)! We put luggage away and then decided it was time for a quick dip so headed up to the pool they have use of in exchange for feeding the owners cats! Oh it was bliss to cool off in the pool... much needed!

Anyway since we have been here there has been a lot of swimming, both Phoebe and Clara have been keen to show of their watery skills:

We also had a birthday party on the beach for Clara who turned 4 on the 20th! She was SO excited to have a birthday in Greece and picked herself out a big strawberry heart cake. Yia Yia also made fairy cakes and we had a lovely day.

Because they aren't very into wrapping things on the island we sent Clara on a treasure hunt with Papou whilst we set everything out on the table. When she got back she was in ecstasies over her presents. Which included Playmobil swimming pool and a princess set, a swimming dolly and a swimming ariel as well as a multitude of other pink and glittery things that set a young princesses heart alight!

Paul arrives today in a couple of hours ready for our second week which, I am sure, will be as wonderful as our first! The girls are downstairs with their Yiayia painting rocks they found on the beach and can't wait to see him!

Car-ma?

2011-08-21T11:34:00.000+01:00

Boy we have had an "interesting" time of it recently!

It started last friday when I was driving the girls from swimming to soft play to celebrate Phoebe achieving her 10m swimming badge. The girls distracted me and I took my eye of the road for a few seconds and managed to rear end someone. Of course as we were in stop start traffic it meant that 4 cars in total got bumped. Thankfully every one walked away from the accident despite all being, obviously, quite shaken! Thank goodness we have bells and whistles insurance so all was covered and, I believe, sorted quickly. The downside is our car was so damaged it has been written off. SOB! When I get back to the UK we start the unpleasant task of car shopping... uff! This means negotiating a balance between needs and wants. I want a car that is functional and Paul wants one that is a bit peppier than functional!

As if that wasn't enough I went to finish the laundry this Monday and our washing machine has totally given up the ghost. As it is 10 yrs old and has been very reliable it isn't a big surprise but honestly the timing could have been better. Paul and I had a conversation in which I pointed out that if it came to a choice of car vs washing machine then the washing machine wins hands down. It has duly been ordered and hopefully Paul will take delivery of it today.

Of course these things happen in threes. So approximately 2 hrs after discovering the washing machine had met it's maker the builders arrived to re render and fix a long standing leak in Phoebe's room. Only to remove the render and discover this:

Yup, the window arch has collapsed meaning the work they need to do is going to cost approximately 5 times the amount it was. Not Good. It had to be done thought so the wall now looks like this:

Hopefully though that means the leak in Phoebe's room is no more and that we (read I) can redecorate it for her in the near future to make it look much prettier and neater! She doesn't "do" pink so I am currently thinking about maybe a pale blue / lilac colour in there to set off the fab Laura Ashley Butterfly wallpaper we bought for the back wall.

http://www.lauraashley.com/wallpaper/summer-meadow-butterfly-wallpaper-cerise-pinkmulti/invt/3485087/

Maybe with some Hello Kitty Vinyl stickarounds on the painted wall... not sure yet.

Anyway, I was very grateful when Wednesday came and myself and the girls got on the train, plane and boat to get to my Dad's house in Greece! Hopefully when we return all will be well and life will return to a blissful normal... well as normal as it gets Chez Moi anyhow...!

Houston The Tooth Fairy Has Landed...

2011-08-11T19:46:00.000+01:00

Or will later tonight anyway!

After much wobbling, last nights incident with the ketchup bottle Phoebe first wobbly tooth fell out tonight! The excitement it caused in the house was second to none and, in true Phoebe style, she waited until Paul was home before it came out so she had a full house for an audience!

She has put the tooth in a special pot next to her bed (she was given the option of under her pillow) and is making herself go to sleep as fast as she can so the tooth fairy has lots of time in which to come and visit her!

Thank all I hold Holy for You Tube and Charlie and Lola!

2011-08-10T20:31:00.000+01:00

Phoebe attempted to open a ketchup bottle with a flip lid with her teeth. All fine (well not really but y'know..!) except she forgot that her 2 bottom incisors are wobbly. Blood Bath ensues! Proper vampire dribbling down chin and accompanied screaming! Then follows 30 minutes of

"Mummy I never want my teeth to fall out because they [sob] Huuuuuuuuuuuuuurt [heaving sob][bit more wailing for good measure]. I can never eat again... [though process of a 5 yr old soap dodger] or have a bath because my teeth HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRT [air raid type crying]"

Gah! Until I had a, frankly inspired if I do say so myself, idea to look up wobbly teeth on you tube to show her it is normal. Et voila... C & L's episode about wobbly teeth comes up and peace is restored, tea eaten and there is a lot of wobble action going on up there to get it out so she can get some money from the tooth fairy! I might have also told her I need to alert the tooth fairy to a tooth as her Tooth Sat Nav is broken so if it falls out after bedtime then she either has to tell me so I can send her a "T-mail" or wait until the next day.

I do love it when parenting gets, ahem, creative!

Why. Just Why.

2011-08-09T20:21:00.000+01:00

All this violence, all this destruction. It is all so senseless.

Today I drove past Reeves Corner and had to explain to my two curious little girls why the building was a wreck. I told them some very naughty people got together to cause as much trouble as they could like starting fires and stealing. Clara said they should be put on a step, Phoebe suggested a Dungeon.

The horror last night of looking out of my living room window and seeing an enormous black cloud of smoke rise into the sky, realising that the footage we were watching on the television was being filmed by the helicopter we could see circling and seeing the coverage of all those people loosing their homes and businesses will stay with me a long long time. I feel sickened by it all, angry with those involved in such mindless thuggery and so much pity for those who have lost through it all.

Tonight my town is quiet but I still feel on edge. My children begged me to stay with them tonight as they are unsettled by the "naughty people". How dare these idiots make us feel like this, how fucking dare they do this to anyone.

My daughter the adventurer!

2011-08-02T22:27:00.001+01:00

The 4 brats were given the chance to choose what they wanted to do today. As it turns out French France in the Alps DOES do hot... 30+ degrees of hot if the car thermometer is to be believed! Clara, Rowan and Lexi chose a ride in the bubble car, which I am reliably informed made the ticket seller laugh a lot as they literally went up to L'etape, walked out of the exit, round to the entrance and came back down again! Then they had a ride on the horse bikes which has been long anticipated:

I am assured by both small girls that they had marvellous fun. Rowan liking the fake horses decidedly more than the real ones she tried the day before.

Phoebe, however, chose the Tree Top Trail. We were dubious as to whether she would go through with it or understand all the rules but she surprised us by not only paying close attention to the instructions she was given and, for the most part, obeyed them! She then went around the course twice loving every minute of it!

As we headed home later we saw some one landing from Paraponting (aka jumping off a mountain with a parachute attached) and asked if she could try that next time! Oh boy!

These activities were followed by some serious play in the lake. Which may or may not have been warmer than the previous visit but as it was a darn sight warmer weather-wise all 4 children after getting past the "bits and tits" were in the water mostly merrily with large ring inflatables!

Once we headed home they were given an al fresco bath in the paddling pool, tea, tech and then bed before the grown ups enjoyed a couple of slabs of black and blue meat!

A fine fine day!

Snape snape severus snape...

2011-08-01T19:29:00.001+01:00

This has been the feem toon for the holiday... I showed the children earlier in the week and it has been going on in an earworm loop ever since! If you don't know what I am talking about then I apologise in advance...

Anyway to cheer the three small moany ones out of a grump I put it on to amuse and video'd them singing along:

Oh the hilarity! Particularly the excitement over a naked Dumbledore!

Postcard from French France.

2011-07-31T21:33:00.002+01:00

Bonjour!

We are currently residing in The Magic House as it has been christened by my children. We are here with our friends Jane and Mike and their two children too and much fun is being had. Clara and Rowan are competing for Biggest Tantrum Award and currently are neck and neck Clara's points for quantity and Rowan for Quality! Lexi is embodying either Lord Voldemort or Nanny McPhee depending on the mood and Phoebe is mostly content so long as she has a piece of technology to hand, failing that a large body of water to wade about in!

Today we were visited by our friends that currently reside down the mountain in Geneva, Sarah and Rob. Much fun was had with them as we had a big raclette stone lunch (children fed previous and deposited in front of TV... we rock as parents don't we!) and then took children up in the much anticipated Bubble car in Les Contamines. We went up to L'Etape where there is a little lake that the kids could paddle / wade or boat in. They loved it! Lexi had requested to be face painted so went up the mountain in Lord Voldemort face paint:

This did elicit a few looks but as Lexi is blissfully unaware of Other People in general we didn't think much of it. It did amuse us gratefully to see The Dark Lord wading about in his orange shark swimmers!

The little lake up there was great but alas they quickly spotted the boats and insisted on a go in them. Phoebe got her own little row boat as she is the only child who we know can get herself out of jeopardy in the water if she needs too and the rest all climbed into a couple of pedalos! Phoebe did get in the pedalo after a bit of rowing in hers, she got up quite a speed when she got going so it isn't surprising her arms got tired!

Phoebe, Rowan and Clara's highlight of the day was their quest to kill the fly population of France. I should add that for reasons best known to themselves all sights of flies have resulted in excessive girly squealing and over the top tears! However I am not entirely sure any of us were ready for the three girls marching into the living room with Rowan leading them to the flies, Clara following behind holding a daisy and saying "Buzz buzz" to entice them out and Phoebe bringing up the rear with the fly swat ready to thwack them!

Phoebe also managed to make a highly amusing appearance at the top of the stairs to our bedroom in full view of the entire population of the living room wearing only a pair of Hello Kitty knickers and carrying a, thankfully empty, bottle of Kronenbourg! Bless her she wasn't in the slightest bit put out when all 6 adults collapsed in fits of giggles.

You can say what you like about the 4 of them but they are usually highly entertaining! Mores tales from the mountains when I get a minute or two!

End of an Era.

2011-07-22T22:44:00.000+01:00

Clara is no longer a Preschooler. As of 12.30 this afternoon she no longer attends our fabulous preschool. In September she will be joining the ranks of Butterflies at Primary School. She had a wicked last day at preschool. Lots of fun and laughter and playing with her best buddy F. We gave them the tutus and tiaras we had made in the morning so they could be put away with the rest of the dressing up clobber in readiness for September. Then at 12.30 I came up to school and bought the presents we had made for the staff and Becky's extra special pressie.

Clara and I made Pinwheel Flowers yesterday using some little flower pots and matching pinwheels we found in John Lewis. We had lots of fun with the clay to go in the bottom and Clara absolutely adored running around this afternoon giving out her presents. They went down a treat with everyone which I am glad about! Then we gave Becky her pressie which was another Momiji doll to go with the one Phoebe bought her last year. I also managed to find a card that said something along the lines of "All I need is a nice tiara and a cape and I could save the world" which struck me as a very Clara thing to say!

We have been so lucky in having the wonderful Becky as the girls Keyworker. Not only have we worked closely together when the girls have been upset but she has supported me amazingly through all sorts and has become a good friend. Both of my girls adore Becky and Phoebe was thrilled to bits that she was able to come and cheer her on at sports day! The girls also both adore Becky's girls which is ace and nothing gets the shrieks of joy going more than telling them they get to spend time with M & A! I am sad that Becky won't be caring for the girls anymore but I think I am lucky in that she will certainly be in their lives for a long time to come!

It was also the end of Primary School today so Phoebe graduated from being a Butterfly to a Sparrow. Her new teacher Miss B is lovely and Phoebe is very excited to be going into year one! Phoebe and her two friends L and N made cards for all the teachers last night and us devoted Mummies pooled our resources and got the teachers a pamper voucher each as a thank you for all their hard work. As a special treat for the children we took the kids to an ice cream parlour for the hugest ice creams you have ever seen! It was noisy, pink, filled to the brim with sugar... they loved it!

I am glad that we finished Reception on such a high in lots of different ways. It has taken me a while but I have made two fabby friends in E and S and it is such fun hanging out with them and their gorgeous boys! In a funny way the friendship was absolutely sealed today by discovering how far we could lower the tone. Sounds a bit mad but if you can't lower the tone considerably with friends... In this case it was smirking over the word Flaps. Yes we really are that purile!

Today has had 2 big endings but, unusually for me, I can see worlds of possibilities lying ahead of me which is rather nice! Lots of things to look forward to over the summer and lots of things to look forward to in the new academic year!

Clara-ism of the week!

2011-07-22T12:13:00.001+01:00

Clara (AKA Bear) is not a morning person. She is especially not a morning person when she has to be woken up instead of waking up herself. She is really really really not a morning person when she has to be woken up and showered in the morning as Daddy got nattering to some friends last night and brought the girls home late... but anyway I digress! Paul was in the shower with Phoebe and asked me to get Clara up and ready for the shower. Eventually I cajolled Clara out of bed and into a cuddle but she was determined not to go in the shower. Paul asked if she was grumpy... I responded "Does a bear poo in the woods?!" and Clara raised her head off my shoulder and shouted:

I do NOT poo in the woods!

There may have been some falling about laughing after that, but she succeeded and went to school for her last day unwashed but dressed as Snow White...

Tulle everywhere....must be the end of term!

2011-07-21T14:20:00.000+01:00

Why o why o why do I always leave things until the last minute?!

Clara finishes Preschool tomorrow so tonight I have 6 tutus to make. Thankfully I have already made the felt tiaras to go with them. When Phoebe left I made superhero capes:

So for Clara's departure I thought I had better go a little bit more pink and girlified. Especially as her teacher tends to refer to them, particularly Clara, as The Pink Princesses!

I am dreading tomorrow, I just know I am going to sob as my baby leaves Preschool for the last time!

The 30 seconds of peace phenomenon.

2011-07-20T19:15:00.000+01:00

So picture the scene. You have two children. Generally you put one child in the front and one in the back, both on the passenger side of the car. How long does it take you to walk around to the drivers side?

You would think nano seconds as it isn't a huge distance but you would be wrong. It takes as long as possible because those seconds walking around the car are the last quiet moments you are likely to get until you deposit the children else where! Inside the car you can dimly hear the sound of the children preserving breath ready for a however-long-the-journey-is monologue of their stream of consciousness!

I love them dearly but ever single thought that crosses their minds comes out of their mouths whilst they are in the car. And you are required to listen, and answer appropriately. Or is that just my children on that last bit... or to specify the younger one! So that precious gap of a few seconds before you enter the encloses space is so so needed!

Proud Oddmother checking in!

2011-07-14T11:26:00.000+01:00

Yesterday the lovely Rachel (aka The Rubbish Pregno) gave birth to 7lbs 8oz of baby girl gorgeousness! Making myself and Paul Oddparents for the first time! They asked us last time we saw them and we, of course, were thrilled and said yes! Polly is just beyond precious and I am so chuffed! We now have to plan an invasion for squishy cuddles, handing over of pressies and, as an aside, fixing of laptops! I can't wait :D

Congratulations Rachel, Ben and Ikey! Enjoy your new status as a family of 4... it rocks!

I stood up and was counted.

2011-07-09T18:37:00.000+01:00

Today I went into London to meet up with some t'internet weirdy friends to attend the Pro Choice Demo that was taking place opposite the houses of Parliament today. I attended to protect my children losing their right to an abortion should the need arise. I sincerely hope it doesn't for them but I want them to have the choice as to what they want for their body and their life. Simple really, no one else should legislate against a woman's choices over her own body!

The moment we should have known we were doomed...

2011-07-08T20:09:00.000+01:00

When you walk into the kitchen after your child has been bugging you for food and you discover this:

Phoebe was 2.5 years old!

A few corkers from Phoebe's folder...

2011-07-07T21:18:00.000+01:00

Tonight was parents evening for Phoebe. She has nearly finished reception and after a glowing report I wasn't too concerned about it this time (I was a nervous wreck at her first one!). She has entertained her teachers no end, loves learning and is doing really well in school! We took home her folder to have a quick peruse of what Phoebe has been up to in class and there are some real corkers in there that I would like to share with you:

On a fly coming into the classroom:

I have a plan! Let's get an old woman in like in the story and she can eat it! That's my plan!

On having a blind tasting session with a pineapple:

[spitting it out] Urgh! I don't like this, it has pineapple juice in it!

On going out into the playground on a chilly day:

I don't need my jacket! I am going to run around and get warm!

On driving the school scooters:

I'm a good driver! I beep my horn when someone is in my way...

From coming in from the outside play area:

I think I found a Meteorite! I think it fell from the sky! (it was a rock)

We are so proud of her! She is doing so brilliantly and, more to the point, LOVING learning which is just what we want for her! She is such a funny bright little girl but also loving and kind. Couldn't ask for more in a child really could we!

Life just doesn't get better than this...

2011-07-07T13:13:00.000+01:00

Peace and quiet, Humous Flower for lunch and a Disney Princess Annual.

A proud day today.

2011-07-05T19:58:00.000+01:00

First up it is Clara and her Ballet Open Day. She has been doing ballet for the last (school) year and absolutely ADORES it! She was positively humming with excitement today as she knew I was coming in to watch her dancing. Alas we weren't allowed to do video and I am way to scared of Miss Penny to attempt a stealth vid! However I did get some lovely pictures of her!

Warming up!

Doing the Fishfinger Dance... I am not kidding!

My little ballerina!

She was brilliant and is going up a class now to join her sister in Pre-Primary (yes both in the same class for a term... mwa ha ha ha!).

I am also very proud of Phoebe. We got her school year end report home and she is doing brilliantly. She is ahead of where she was expected to be in loads of areas and seems to just adore learning! She is a bright wee cookie that girl and as a reward for such a good report she has been allowed to watch some Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone. She has seriously impressed me with her knowledge of the Harry Potter Universe, even to the point that instead of telling us Harry got a Broomstick she told us he got a Nimbus 2000! She is so funny at the moment!

I don't have a recent pic of her so instead here she is showing off her other amazing skill... hulahooping!

I had an awesome weekend, hope you did too!

2011-07-05T09:08:00.000+01:00

This weekend I saw my oldest mate get hitched to his lovely lovely new wife! I was asked if I would do the photography for them so I got prime location for piccy taking too (of which I now have approximately 380 photos to work through....). Here is a sneaky pic of one that just shows how delighted they are to be married and how in love too...

It was a fabulous day, the weather was warm but not too sunny, the pimms was cold, food delicious and company was excellent! I really truly couldn't be happier for them! I was delighted too that I got a thank you in the speeches (really wasn't expecting that!) and a gorgeous necklace as a thank you (also totally unexpected). I am very lucky to have such wonderful friends!

I also completed my Super Secret Project this weekend. I haven't been able to blog about this as the recipient reads the blog and it was a total stealth project! However my lovely Aunt, Cally, was diagnosed with Cancer earlier this year. It hit her, and the family quite hard and personally I felt the need to DO something. Alas there is very little one can do except offer support but something I made last year for my Step Sister's Hen got me thinking. So together with Mum we contacted as many of Cally's friends and rellies and got them to make patches for a quilt. Which I then sewed together on Friday / Saturday. I took it into her in hospital yesterday as a surprise and she was absolutely thrilled with it. Now when she is feeling grim she can curl up under her quilt and remember how much everyone loves her and is always there with her in spirit when she needs us. I know it isn't quite the same thing but in my worst depression days just knowing there were people who loved me come what may and what I was fighting for was a great help. I hope the same counts for Cally as there really are so many people who love her!

School here we come!

2011-07-01T11:50:00.000+01:00

Ahhh the face of innocence:

Yeah right, if you believe that you will believe anything! Alas this is the girl who KNOWS she is cute and not only uses this to her benefit but one might well be spot on to describe it as a weapon of mass destruction too! She has social skills far advanced for a 3 year old... always has and it is very very easy to forget that she is actually only 3! The child can work a crowd brilliantly!

I had Clara's Reception Parents School Meeting today! Thankfully she is a Butterfly (this has been an ongoing worry as she has had numerous strops about being a Dragonfly) and the lovely Miss P and Mrs M who currently teach Phoebe will also be teaching Clara. Ergo they are wise to her cunning tricks. I am very relieved to say the least as Mr J (Dragonfly teacher) failed Clara's test by [shock horror] not noticing she had her hair cut. Oh how I wish I was joking! Those that know her know I am not!

So now we just need to get her uniform sorted, we have dresses and shirts but no jumpers yet. She needs a PE bag and her PE kit doing. She has her playground posse sorted (Phoebe's friends L and N who think Clara can do no wrong as she is, and I quote, "Too Cute"... oh dear). She can't wait to start although she is reluctant to leave Preschool and her Doppleganger F!

So batten down the hatches Primary School! The Bear cometh!

My new hall rendered Mum Speechless!

2011-06-29T21:46:00.000+01:00

I cannot tell you how delighted this makes me. We have worked hard on it, I mostly in a design capacity and Paul in the do everything else capacity! It has gone from this:

in it's beigy insipidness to this:

monochromatic beauty!

The carpet is the piece de resistance and well worth the price we paid for it, it goes along the top hallway too and that has also been painted white so it is nice and bright up there. We now have real wow factor as you open the door!

Next step: The Front Door... uff! I have secret things to do this week but after that it is operation make the door presentable!

Phoebe and Clara test Ikea Wardrobes...

2011-06-28T13:12:00.000+01:00

So last night the girls were meant to be upstairs getting ready for bed (yeah right, I got sick of them whinging downstairs so sent them up so I could ignore them for a bit!). Much giggling was happening... and then it all went suspiciously quiet. This is never, EVER good!

So I gave them a few minutes (I knew it was wishful thinking they had actually gone to bed and fallen asleep) and went up. No children in Phoebe's room or Clara's room. Interesting. No children in the bathroom or my bedroom... even more interesting.

Then I heard a very slight giggle in Clara's room. Very suppressed and silenced as soon as it started. Absentmindedly I opened Clara's wardrobe and found both of them sat in there with the biggest grins on their faces! Phoebe has been on a mission to find a brilliant hiding place for months but usually can't contain her giggles and gives herself away!

So if you are interested a Hensvik Wardrobe (from Ikea) shelving will hold around 4 stone on it! I know Ikea test things rigorously but I do wonder if they test them for that weight! I wish I had taken a picture but I was worried about it breaking as they had been in there a while and I didn't have my camera to hand!

Teaching anatomy to a three yr old...

2011-05-28T11:40:00.000+01:00

Clara is, as many know, boob obsessed. Well as I dried her for her shower she took the time to play with my boobs with much joy. Then her father entered post shower and laughed with us, especially as I asked Clara some questions about her and my body, and her Daddy's.

Me: What did mummy's boobs make?

C: MILK!

Me: Where did the milk come from?

C: Yours nipples

Me: that's right... do you have nipples?

C: [searches down top] YES!

Me: Does Daddy have nipples?

C: [Goes for a hug with Daddy] Yes!

Daddy: Mine don't make milk though, they are muscles not nice boobs like Mummy's [thank you dearest!]

C: [looks confused]

Me: That is because Daddy is a boy darling. What does Daddy have that we don't?

C: [mulls it over for a little bit] APPLE JUICE!

What songs are Preschool teaching my daughter?!

2011-05-25T15:45:00.000+01:00

Clara is sat next to me singing what sounds like the following:

Here is a Box
Put on a lid
Wonder what's inside
Wonder what's hid

Here is a Mummy!
Without any top
Out of the box she comes with a POP

Erm....

I suspect I am hearing things again as when Phoebe started and they were practicing I was convinced the lyrics for their Father Christmas song were rude as they sounded very like:

Father Christmas
Father Christmas
He Got Stuck
He Got Stuck
Coming Down the Chimney
Coming down the chimney
So that's Christmas Fucked
Christmas Fucked....

it wasn't of course but I didn't hear it the right way for ages and ages!

Right body... I want words.

2011-05-24T20:37:00.000+01:00

Now listen up... there is a time and a place to get iffy and there is also an order to things.

1, Cystitis is hideous.

2, Bloated stomach and IBS stuff is hideous.

3, Cold is hideous.

All three together is just rude and, more to the point, unnecessary! Stop it, pull yourself together and get well this instant dammit! If I have to spend another day on the loo tomorrow I will be most displeased.

That is all.

Conversations with a 5 and a 3 yr old.

2011-05-20T20:34:00.000+01:00

In the car on the way home from Phoebe's ballet lesson.

P: Mummy, guess what at Christmas a pixie snuck in and left us Christmas Pyjamas whilst you were making snacks and we were in the bath. Then Father Christmas came and left us PRESENTS! Will he come again this Christmas?!*

Me: Well, Father Christmas only brings presents to certain people...

P: Who are they?!

Me: Well who doesn't get presents from Father Christmas...

P: Naughty boys and girls.

Me: Ok so what is the opposite of naughty?

Clara: Asleep.

Hmmm, I can't help but think she has a damn good point!

*No idea where this conversation came from, she is very into menembering (sic) at the moment.

Parenting FAIL.

2011-05-18T16:43:00.000+01:00

Oh dear. I pulled a doozy today...

not feeling great anyway (see previous post) so I spent a large portion of this afternoon dozing on the sofa willing my stomach to stop churning before we left to get Phoebe at 15.30. I got a little confused as normally we don't see Yo Gabba Gabba but I thought Nick Jr had been playing with timings but didn't think more of it until the titles rolled and I told Clara to get her shoes on because we had to get Phoebe. As I looked up at the clock in the living room the following happened in my brain.

Time to get Phoebe
School ends at 15.00
It is now 15.30
OH MY GOD IT IS 15.30 AND PHOEBE HAS BEEN WAITING FOR ME FOR HALF AN HOUR, THAT IS WHY WE DON'T WATCH YO GABBA GABBA, IT IS ON WHILST WE ARE DOING THE SCHOOL RUN... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

At which point I rang school to tell them I was on the way and was shoving shoes on Clara's feet at the speed of light, diving in the car and getting to school.

She was absolutely fine, happily sat with her beloved teacher and bending the ears of the office staff when I turned up! I was guilt ridden even more because she made it onto the Superstar board today for excellent writing! So I took them out for a McFlurry to celebrate her achievement...!

Wail... will I never learn?!

2011-05-18T11:46:00.000+01:00

Symptoms of hangover:

Headache : CHECK
Lethargic : CHECK
washing machine stomach : CHECK
Bloating: CHECK

Did I consume my own body weight in alcohol to deserve such punishment? No I had too much dairy. I feel so so rotten today and I don't deserve this fall out from just dairy. S'not fair.

Phoebe's Book

2011-05-17T22:48:00.001+01:00

Phoebe's Book a video by ***Vix*** on Flickr.

Look what my clever clever girl made all by herself! There was absolutely no parental input in this book it is all her own work!

Paul and I are so so so proud of her!

List of thing that I have to get done by the 23rd July...

2011-05-16T19:32:00.000+01:00

Decorate Bathroom.... well not so much decorate as freshen up as it is going from white to, well, white!

Paint upstairs hallway... going from cream and flaky to white to make it look a bit bigger.

Decorate stairway... cream to white (again... are you sensing a theme here?) and paper one wall with funky frames wallpaper!

Strip and repaint front door - Going from Red with Black Furniture to Blue with Silver.

Wallpaper Phoebe's bedroom... it STILL hasn't been done!

Paint the upstairs window on the outside...

Plant pretty flowers in our one and only flower bed that is currently filled with weeds and one allium. It's not a good look when the rest of the garden looks fab!

Oh and lose a shed load more weight... actually that needs to be done by the 17th June as I have a Hen Party to go to and I don't want to look like a sack of spuds. 30 day shred is en route... this could get painful!

Why you may be asking does all this have to be done by the 23rd July... well the inlaws are coming up for the first time in 2 years. Time to get the house looking lovely and pristine. However I have proven to Paul that his painting the ceiling and I do the rest of the graft during the day actually does work so it is less of a PITA to decorate now than it was!

Actually thinking about it, no point in doing the Hallway until after the new bed has arrived is there. All we need it to have a freshly decorated hall gouged by getting old beds down and new beds up!

Hoover fixed... so the bed broke. Sigh.

2011-05-15T15:39:00.000+01:00

After Paul's wizardry with the hoover... there is something about him that makes technology start working. Must be The Engineer Effect, if he is around everything behaves... he leaves the premises and everything flicks V's at us and stops. Gah!

Anyway after that we got into bed that night and heard an ominous creak and felt a little drop. A brief inspection revealed the bed base (a metal mesh) is looking rather sorry for itself. We are, of course, blaming the girls penchant for bouncing on the bed... nothing else naturally [cough]. Whilst lying there, very very carefully, we realised that the mattress we were lying on is 10 yrs old. We bought it new when we moved in together and needed a kingsize bed to cope with Paul's height. Apparently he doesn't like his feet dangling off the end of the bed... who knew!

So today we took our poor battered little bank account out on another excursion. Bed hunting. Thank heavens for t'interweb where we spotted a lovely bedframe at a not too bad a price:

http://www.bensonsforbeds.co.uk/SpecialOffers/Spring-Sale-Offers/Bedframe-Offers/Servillia-Metal-Double-Size-Bed-Frame;52192.aspx

Which should go beautifully in our bedroom! I am faintly surprised Paul was ok with it actually as normally he doesn't go for swirly things... maybe he is finally conceding he has no decorative skill whatsoever! It should arrive on the 1st June, which means we have to treat our bed very very very nicely for the next 16 days! Dammit.

Friday the 13th from HELL

2011-05-13T20:50:00.000+01:00

Dear GODS! What have I done to deserve your wrath?!

Today has sucked, big time. Clara has been in a foul mood since the moment she woke up until the moment she finally passed out. Her last words were telling Phoebe to shut up because she was trying to go to sleep. I mean she threw a tantrum when I said she could go to her Dopplegangers house for a playdate on Monday! Phoebe has been ok actually, possibly aided by the fact I now chat with a couple of Mum's after school meaning she can rough house to her hearts content with their sons. And she took it on the chin when I said no DS tonight as she got a warning.

I had to pick up the ~~money pit~~ car today which cost a bloody fortune. Put it this way I could have 3 Ipad2's for the same amount! Instead I have fans and breaks that work and I will be grateful for them. If you listened carefully you could hear my poor credit card sobbing as I punched in the dreaded numbers!

As if that wasn't enough my hoover declined to work for me. I changed the fuse (broke a fondue fork in the process) and tried 4 different plugs but nada. Just as I am planning which hoover to replace it with Paul comes home and with one deft yank of the cord unhooks it from where it had got pinched and I hadn't seen. Don't you just HATE that?

However I have lost 4lbs and this is a Very Good Thing. I also have pink wine and a indian take out headed my way so things should start improving momentarily....ahhhh pink wine.

What shall I doooo?!

2011-05-10T21:40:00.000+01:00

I want to do some study, wake my brain up a little from the 6 years of Stay At Home Mumming. Maybe go a little way to finding me a bit more. But what shall I study? I want something useful because I have a degree that I don't use practically (Theatre Studies & Music Tech). I have no idea where my academic talent lies.

I don't want to make the same mistake as my A'levels where I studied English because I loved reading. I do love reading but I like reading the story and I don't enjoy delving into the whys and wherefores. I did enjoy Chemistry but would that be do-able in a not in class kind of way?!

Uff. Why is it I can make a billion choices a day for the girls but I can't make one for myself!

A poignant reminder.

2011-05-06T13:21:00.000+01:00

I haven't been feeling the bloggy love recently hence the silence. However I read something today that firstly broke my heart and secondly drove me here to share my thoughts.

Yesterday a mother and father lost their son. William was just shy of 3 yrs old and a bright bubbly and charming little boy by all accounts. He didn't wake up yesterday morning and his family's world was shattered into pieces. I can't bear to imagine it, waking up one morning to discover life as you knew it would forever have a gaping whole in it that was filled by someone so beloved.

I have woken up to similar and that broke my heart age 10. But to lose a child is something I can't and don't want to fathom. My arms ached for my children to pull them close to me and treasure them as I should. William's life and his family's loss stand as a poignant reminder of what a precious thing family truly is. I cannot wish that their hearts will be mended because I don't think that will ever truly happen. I can only send them all the love and peace I can in the vain hope that it helps soothe the pain a little.

Please hold your loved ones close and just for a moment, in William's memory, remember how lucky you are to have them in your lives. Spare a thought for my friends as they attempt to put their world back together. They are in my thoughts now and always.

V
x

Oh bliss, sweet peaceful bliss!

2011-04-23T15:22:00.000+01:00

Granny and Grande have the girls, they have had them since Thursday Evening! We will shortly be driving to them to meet up for the remainder of the Easter Holidays. Oh, it has been lovely though!

Yesterday we got up late, bumbled around and then caught the tram to a local common and had a lovely grown up picnic. We even had Pink Fizz too so decadent! We lazed in the shade of a gorgeous tree, sipped our wine and ate lovely food, lay back and read our books, people watched, tutted at the male students intent on shrieking out as many names for a penis as they could think of and generally did nothing!

We got home, lazed and read some more and then donned glad rags to go out. We had a lovely meal at a local fish restaurant and drank wine without the worry that we had to race home. It was wonderful.

Another late morning this morning, a wander around the garden centre and some bumbling in the garden (I am at war with the ridiculous number of dandelions!).

Now it is time to go and pack, shower and jump in the car. We both feel relaxed and refreshed from our 2 days off from parenting and ready to re enter the fray. Hopefully it won't be nearly 2.5 years until the next time we can have some time just to ourselves.

Both of us adore the girls, they are the lights of our life and the best thing we have ever done together. But time off is needed sometimes, just to breathe and be ourselves. Find Vix and Paul again instead of Mummy and Daddy!

My Hero...

2011-04-18T21:26:00.000+01:00

I mentioned a while ago that my beloved Paul was running the marathon. Well he did it yesterday and his time was 5hrs 06 mins and 46 seconds! I am so so proud of him.

He is having pangs that he didn't do it faster but a combination of heat and people traffic worked against him. Still given that I couldn't stagger 26 miles in that time I think it is a tremendous achievement.

Here he is at 13 miles

and here again after the race:

We got a rickshaw back to Mum and Robs house as the girls and Paul were all exhausted (ok ok I was too!) and on the way home he got congratulations from a cyclist and a couple on the street gave him a round of applause! He was thrilled!

Everyone in the family is so proud of him and the amount of money he and his mates have raised for The Neuro Foundation is brilliant! Although his just giving thingy bob doesn't close for another month so if you have a few pennies spare:

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=GaryPaulandStephenruntheMarathon&isTeam=true

Wooo Hooo! First stone off and a fab reason to lose weight!

2011-04-15T09:05:00.000+01:00

Today I have officially lost one stone since I started dieting :D. I am rather chuffed with myself especially as this week involved rather a lot of cake (I am looking at you Jane with your irresistible brownies and you Mahri-Claire with your delicious mega cupcake!).

I also had some fantastic news that one of my oldest and best friends is actually tying the knot this year! In approximately 3 months so now I have an excellent reason to lose more weight... I wonder how much I can manage in that time! I am stupidly excited about this wedding as the couple in question are just lovely and it is the first wedding we are going to sans enfants! I am also doing the Photography but thankfully they are keeping it very simple which should make my job a lot easier and take any undue pressure off. It does give me an excuse to rent a fabby lens though and spend a little on some more memory cards! Not to mention finding a gorgeous dress to wear for such a momentous occasion!

So much to look forward to this year!

Skewed perspectives.

2011-04-10T17:16:00.002+01:00

I have been thinking about this a lot recently. Why I expect so much from myself...

Well for a start I have 5 siblings. One real sister three step sisters and a step brother but the steps have been in my life for so flipping long I generally ignore the step bit. I defy anyone to truthfully say they have never compared themselves to their siblings. I know I certainly do and, at least in my comparisons, I come off a lot worse.

But a friend said something to me the other day that really made a penny drop. She asked if I thought my perspective was skewed as I come from a family of fairly high flyers. And I really think it is, hard not to be really when in your family you have:

A very successful businessman
A Consultant anaesthetist who also used to run the hospital.
Nurses
More Doctors
An Officer from the Army.
2 Pilots
TV producers
Actors
Event Managers who have done incredible events
Talented Artist
Talented Singer

Not to mention you were the lowest achieving academically in school.

Now I don't hold anything against my family for doing so well and, without exception, I am ridiculously proud of them! But sometimes being "just" a mother feels like I am scraping the barrel of life. I forget my arty stuff, my sewing stuff and general all purpose juggling. So is it any wonder I fall short of my own expectations?! My mission over the next few month is to just accept what I do, take pride in it and enjoy it!

Two Bowls Phoebe....

2011-04-10T16:58:00.000+01:00

Pasta And Sauce.... What together?! In the same bowl?! Sauce and pasta? Pasta and sauce?! You have to be kidding me!

Well if you are Phoebe anyway.

She used to eat Pasta, which was excellent as it was one of the few meal bulkers I could reliably get into her. And then she stopped. No reason she just didn't want it anymore. Riiiiiight. So we worked around it, instead of pasta and sauce she just had the sauce and had more, maybe with a little bit of bread to bulk it out. But I didn't make a fuss as that would be detrimental to Phoebe.

Until today when I pointed out to her that pasta was exactly like noodles and I had a lot of evidence that she liked noodles. I convinced her to try a plain bit of pasta and she ate it! I held back the whoops and suggested that maybe, just maybe, she might consider having pasta in her sauce today. Nope, brick walled. Then I had a lightbulb moment... ok so not IN the sauce but what about two bowls. One with Pasta and one with sauce.... YES! So off she toddled in the garden (they were eating on the patio) with her two bowls and when I joined them she was EATING it! Of course she was forking a bit of pasta, dipping it into the sauce and then into her mouth but hell she was EATING!

Net result of this two bowling is that she has been full of food all afternoon so moaning for food has been minimal! Wooo and indeed Hooooooo! And she looks pretty pleased with herself too:

And in the essence of fairness here is one of Clara too:

(Ps yes they are in sunsuits and it is 10th April! It has been glorious all weekend!)

How we intend to survive the Easter Holidays.

2011-04-08T17:22:00.000+01:00

Clara broke up last week and whilst my beloved smiled at me and said "but at least it is just Clara" I smiled back and told him that "just Clara" was like saying "just a nuclear bomb!" however she survived as did I so I call that a triumph!

Phoebe broke up at 13.30 today so now we have 2 weeks stretching ahead and I am writing this blog to remind me NOT to feel overwhelmed by it! Next week is sorted thankfully:

Monday: Granny is coming over
Tuesday: Rowan's 6th birthday party
Wednesday: friends are coming over for a mass play date (for which I have purchased plastic eggs and will be hiding them around the garden and house)
Thursday: Clara is swimming so I might do a picnic in a park that morning.
Friday: Granny coming again
Saturday: Into London as Paul has the marathon the next day, added bonus that I have just found out that Angelina Ballerina will be in Peter Jones on this day too!

Then I just have 3.5 days to work through until we head back into Central London to celebrate Easter with Granny and Grande! I think ast least one morning we will head to the cinema as our local is a Vue who do the splendid Kids Am feature. Kids Am means we can all go for 95p a head :D and they are showing Tangled that week... RESULT! Ok so they need snacks etc when we go in but that is minimal cost frankly and still cheaper than going on a normal viewing!

We also appear to have developed a serious Dora The Explorer crush chez moi. The girls adore it and love joining in... and as a side effect their attempts at spanish are highly comical! It is the first TV show they have ever got so involved in. In fact as I type this Clara is clapping, stamping and shouting COCKADOODLEDOOOOO as she helps them wake up the sun! So I suspect Nick Jr will aide us in our quest to remain entertained :D

How are you planning on entertaining the beasties during the break... any ideas I have missed?!

My feet hurt... morning at Legoland.

2011-04-07T18:27:00.000+01:00

As there was a splendiferous offer on for one adult and one under 6 to get into Legoland for £15 I decided to take Clara today as Phoebe was getting a "passport trip" to a local Hellhole, er I mean soft play!

So after dropping Phoebe off at 9am Clara and I tootled off down the motorway to Legoland! We got there at 10.30 ish and made our way into the park. We did the hill train and worked our way back up. A few small issues involving Clara, queues and changing minds before we settled on a boat ride first. Wrestling a small child for a steering wheel whilst hoping you manage not to be the first person to accidentally capsize a boat isn't the easiest thing but we managed to get around the course with minimal crashes!

Next we headed for the water play area and Clara was delighted to find I had been organised (for a change) and had packed her bathing suit and a towel so she stripped off and dashed into the water for a bit to have some fun! We were really lucky with the weather and it was about 22 degrees and absolutely BAKING hot so I was rather jealous of Clara's cooling off.

After that I was reliably informed it was time for Ice Cream... repeatedly. So we popped into one of the eateries ~~to shut her up~~ and bought a lovely chocolate chip ice cream

We then went on the Sky Rider and enjoyed bumping up and down a lot.

After that we headed to the loos and bumped into a friend who uses the same forum as me. I haven't met her before but she recognised Clara from pictures and it was confirmed by my calling her shortly afterwards. There are two sentences you expect to hear from this forum to identify fellow users, in jokes mostly but referring to oneself as a "looper" is a dead give away that they are also a user! I did expect to bump into someone as the deal was posted on the forum and lots of people were interested.

Clara and I then went and looked at a watery ride but The Boss decided it was too fast and too wet so we didn't go on it. Instead we walked further up the hill and saw all the mini towns and lego buildings and found some cool slides on the steps!

once we got to the top of the hill I was informed it was lunch time so we stopped off for a very nice lunch of chicken goujons, chips and peas and a nice drink of milk. Well Clara did anyway as I wasn't hungry. Not too bad a price either at £4.75 for the meal.

Then we wandered down to the other side of the park where the faster rides were. We were going to go on the rapids but they were closed when we walked past. Instead we went and found a mini rollercoaster, Clara LOVED it! I wasn't sure of how her reaction would be because she can be a bit funny with stuff like this but she was in utter heaven! By then it was time to head home and pick Phoebe up from school so we caught the hill train back up the hill and got in the car. This happened before I even got to the motor way:

I call that a result!

In fact the only thing that irked me was not enough cashpoints near the places that only took cash (like in the knights bit where the face painting and gold panning was). We didn't have time to go and get cash from pretty much the other side of the park so missed out on those which was a shame as she would have LOVED having her face done and the panning for gold looked like fun.

As we went on a school day the queues were non existant so minimal moaning occured. I can imagine it would be less fun in the summer when the place will be rammed to the gunnels! I also don't fancy paying £130 for all of us to get in, especially at peak queue times!

Still it was nice to have a special Mummy - Clara morning and we had fun so net result was pretty good!

I was spoilt yesterday!

2011-04-04T10:14:00.000+01:00

I hope all Mummies had a rocking Mother's Day yesterday, I certainly did!

Paul managed to hold the beasts off until 8am before I got given cards and presents. This was no mean feat as Phoebe was humming with excitement about it all! I got 2 gorgeous home made cards, a necklace Phoebe made at school. I also got a bought card and the Hairy Bikers Mum's Know Best cook books (downside, I wanted to bake but can't eat the produce so didn't!). Best of all Paul then took the girls back downstairs and let me go back to sleep for a couple of hours!

We had a lovely day at home pottering. Paul got the girls involved in his annual battle against the lawn (or lack of it!) so I was able to sort the kitchen out to the tunes from the musicals courtesy of Elaine Paige on radio 2.

If I have to diet the cat has to suffer too...

2011-03-23T20:35:00.000Z

Holy Moly! My cat, Kit, who I have had since she was 8 weeks old just weighed in at 7kg....

That is over a stone and over double the weight of Little Brown Cat! I can't even think how fat she would be if she was human but Paul reckons housebound, he is probably right as the cat flap fit is becoming a bit snug of late! So time for a diet I think. As an extra precaution I have bought her this:

http://www.petsathome.com/shop/do-not-feed-cat-collar-by-pets-at-home-33944

I can't think who is feeding her under the illusion that she is a poor waif of a cat but you can never be sure can you.

The shame of it came when I looked at the food limits on the side of the book to find out how much she should be getting and her weight wasn't even listed on there. I had to work it out and use my best guess! I have marked up weights on the pin board in the kitchen and we will review monthly from here on in I think.

Hopefully, as I will be doing, she will get lighter and possibly more friendly with it (ha ha ha)!

[rings bell] Unclean... Unclean....

2011-03-23T11:39:00.000Z

Uff. Saw the doc, begged her for anti-biotics for my throat. She wasn't keen until I reminded her that being ill with children is like a fate worse than death. In fact, in that scenario I think I would consider death a favourable option in most cases! She also upped my ADs so now I rattle, still I would rather rattle and be sane than the other way around. That said Tonsillitis is very good for diets as a, my appetite has buggered off and b, I can't eat anything but ice lollies which are only 1pt per lolly! Result!

The title of this post reminds me of University, in the first year of halls. My friend, Cath, didn't believe me when I told her this is what lepers used to do when they walked down the street and we had a good few giggles about it. Isn't it odd what things remind you of days past? The song "Breakfast at Tiffinys" always takes me back to hazy recollections of hanging out in the Student Bar (hazy for obvious reasons... cheap beer!). There is one of Phoebe's reading books that reminds me of our first Halloween at Uni where my friends thought it would be funny to tip a tub of flour (that was out for playing games) over my head... a strangely nice sensation actually! And of all our male friends dressing up as girls... with fishnets... and very short nighties on. Actually I also remember it took age to get my nightie back from one of them...!

[sigh] Happy days!

Phoebe Vs Medicine.

2011-03-22T10:44:00.000Z

Phoebe came down with a temperature on Saturday (not enough that she was going to miss out on her friend's party mind... man do I feel bad about that now!) and by the evening was ridiculously hot and it was only just being controlled by meds. Because I am a fairly relaxed mother and she had no other worrying symptons we just went with it and kept her medicated as much as we could. We had one attack of digestive pyrotechnics but I am fairly convinced that was because we had given her ibuprofen on an empty stomach.

Fast Forward to yesterday she started complaining about her ear hurting so I figured it was time to go to the docs. She has tonsillitis poor kid! Doc prescribed penicillin syrup which we duely got and tried to administer. Epic epic FAIL. She got hysterical despite us trying the following:

Putting it in Orange Juice
Bribery (4 mini eggs for every dose)
Force

So after I was wearing most of the second dose of syrup I called the doctor and asked for a new script for tablets. And a script for me too as I had a penny drop moment and realised what my sore throat was! Alas no script for me but I am seeing a GP tomorrow for depression related things so I can get some anti-b's for myself then. Took it over to the pharmacy and filled it only to be met with a pharmacist doing his best "concerned" face and did I know that these were tablets for a 5 yr old!

So home I came with tablets (1/2 a tablet 4 x a day) and chocolate spread and attempted to administer. Bugger me if the little sod couldn't taste the tablets through the ruddy spread! Still easier to get down her than the syrup I suppose! I think I will buy some smarties and start getting her to practice swallowing tablets as she is evidentally not going to permit syrups. Bloody pest! Still not bad getting to 5 yrs old before really needing oral Anti-b's either...!

I am not sulking. Nope not me.

2011-03-18T11:58:00.000Z

1lb off. 1 poxy lb. Grump.

Ok it is downwards which is A Good Thing. And yes that makes 5lbs off meaning I only have another 65 to loose but still. Only 1 bloody lb when I have been positively ANGELIC this week. Especially considering this week included a trip to an All You Can Eat Chinese Restaurant and normally I take a Homer Simpson-esque approach to these places.

Still onwards and downwards. I will not be a whale in the summer is my current mantra. Not least because it would be very bloody odd to find a beached whale in the Alps...

Weight Watchers is playing with my mind...!

2011-03-17T21:30:00.000Z

I have been following the plan to the best of my ability for a week and a half now. Not doing too badly, although I haven't weighed in since last Friday. I have noticed a few things that just don't make sense to me... for example:

1, There is only a point value for Basmati rice before it is cooked. Not good for weighing out portions onto my plate when I am cooking for both Paul and me. Also I cook rice by volume and not by weight so am jiggered there too!

2, Egg - Poached without oil. Ok fine, but how in the heckers do you poach one with oil? Surely that would be considered frying?!

I am sure I will come across more as I keep going but these two are busting my brain at the moment!

Karma can be an utter bitch!

2011-03-16T14:24:00.000Z

So, there I was sniggering at my friend KT's blog about her son Mr Jamie and his nipple kissing (can be seen here). Merrily thinking how nice it was to have my boobs to myself again now the girls were a bit older!

Ha. What a fool. It was just asking to happen wasn't it?

So there Clara and I are in Ikea on the hunt for the Lesser Spotter White Kritter Table and Chairs (today spotted and duly purchased... huzzah!). We got a trolley as she likes a ride and is still just about small enough to still fit in the seat so I put her in. Wandering along merrily I feel a little hand stroking the neckline of my dress, then suddenly I am yanked towards her at a billionty miles an hour and I have a small child's face between my breasts.

If that wasn't bad enough... she started flubberlubbing* them. In public. I swear I saw people going past with their eyes either on stilts or a bloody smirk.

That'll teach me for sniggering at others misfortune won't it.

Pesky childerbeast!

*this is not a technical term and I couldn't find one but she was rubbing her face between my boobs and making this sound.

Retro-tastic games!

2011-03-15T11:28:00.000Z

I bought Phoebe some fairytale dominoes recently and they have been a major hit so I thought I might add to her collection and do a brief review of things for a bit of fun!

In our game collection we have:

Once Upon a Time Dominoes

A really excellent game, nice and easy to understand for small people and causes a good amount of giggling. Both girls can play it without much help from me (mostly when it comes to managing Clara and the argument about who has won and who hasn't).

Hungry Hippos

Horrendously disappointing now. I remember it being a lot sturdier than it is now, and I am not alone in my thoughts either. It is now flimsy, I presume because it can be broken into pieces for easier storage which would be great except the plastic is SO brittle that breaking it into pieces would likely end in it literally ending up in gazillions of unintentional pieces. Why not make the box a bit bigger to fit the whole game in?! Oh and the marbles get lost so easily... we are down to 2 now and have only had it since Christmas. I wonder if they sell extra marbles...

Toy Story Buckaroo

This hasn't actually seen the light since Christmas because the girls have been to busy or have forgotten it is in the cupboard (I suspect the latter) so I will have to bring it out tomorrow afternoon for a proper go over! It looks very like it always has... I will come back to this one.

Asda Mr Funny Face

Again another I haven't tried out on the girls yet (having only bought it today) but after seeing the state of Hungry Hippos I have sworn off buying the "official" games and embraced the own brand ones. Putting it together it seems as fun as ever and has suitable catipult capabilities of the features to entertain my girls! I had forgotten about the face cards so that was a good reminder. I predict a lot of fun with this game as both girls love to make faces!

Asda Guess Who

After discussing the disappointing HH with friends I was horrified to find out that the new official version of Guess Who has also suffered "modernisation". Comments from friends are: Only 5 girls to 19 boys, child has to pick character which makes the game hideously samey as child frequently picks same character over and over and over, why having it sat upright when flat on the table. So I had decided this game wasn't going to hit our collection. Until I saw that Asda had a 2 for £8 on games and their version of Guess Who reflected the, far superior, original. So I snapped it up! I am happy to report that there are equal numbers of boys and girls and you get to pick from a stack of cards for the character so that makes it much more random!

Disney Princess Memory

Bought to appease a small Princess obsessed child. However we lie them face up and the girls enjoy matching the pictures to put away. Nice thing is it is loads of different poses of various princess and characters. That makes it more tricksy rather than just matching Jasmine - Jasmine, Belle - Belle etc.

Pop Up Pirate

We LOVE this. Never fails to make the girls hoot when the pirate shoots out! Only downside is some of the swords have been lost and I have yet to source replacements. You would think if they sold games with lots of bits to small children they would do refill packs?! Can't be that hard surely... and better than having to buy the game over and over and over just because a few of the swords are lost!

Anyhow that is our game collection, what are your favourites... any we need to add?

In other news...

2011-03-13T18:52:00.000Z

Since I last weighed in on WW I have lost 4lbs.

Now given that was in January I would ask you to remember that since then I have survived half term (just) and suffered a rotten cold (that I am only just over 2 weeks later). So given that I have been comfort eating to make myself feel better in my "meh" state I am quite pleased with that. At least it is downwards eh?!

This weekend hasn't been too bad with regards to the diet. I haven't eaten with Paul and the girls much as they like to have lardy things at the weekend. Yesterday I had a delicious meatball pasta concoction that I made for 11 points. I will be able to take that down lower once I find low fat cheese that works. here is the recipe:

1 packet of beef meatballs from Sainsbugs (hey, I am lazy!) so roughly 350g of meat formed into 12 balls.
1 onion
1 tin of chopped tomatoes
A healthy squidge of tomato puree
1/2 a glass of red wine
300g penne
80g grated cheese (I used cheddar as it was the only cheese we had in!)

Firstly I cooked the penne until just under al dente and put the oven on to about 200

whilst the pasta was cooking I started the sauce. Adding a little water to the frying pan I chopped the tomato and cooked it off a little, then I added the tomatos, tomato puree and red wine and bought that up to a simmer. Then I dropped the meatballs in and popped a lid on.

When the meatballs have been cooking for about 10 mins I mixed the sauce and pasta together, put it in an oven proof dish and then sprinkled the cheese over the top. I cooked that in the oven until it was bubbly and brown and then dished up. Serves 4

I love meatballs because they are portion controlled! I had 3 which is exactly 1/4 and that was plenty for me. Paul even has two take to work meals out of it! As I say I make that about 11 points a serving which is reasonable for dinner and it can, of course, be accompanied by a huge salad (but I didn't have any in!)

I am so tired

2011-03-12T18:10:00.000Z

I am tired of feeling "meh" and sad without being able to pin point why
I am tired of being a parent. It is utterly relentless.
I am tired of being skint
I am tired of housework
I am tired of worrying constantly
I am tired of being fat and unhealthy
I am tired of the diet I am on (only been 2 bloody days)
I am tired of not being able to find / wear clothes I like
I am tired of how I look
I am tired of not feeling good enough for anything or anyone
I am tired of just being.

Sometimes I wish I could just let everything go and just crawl into a corner and sleep for a year. I wish I could offload reponsibility, get my head in a better place and start again. I took a picture ages ago and it is still relevant:

It was taken 18 months ago. I had a GP appt a few days afterwards and I have already booked myself in for a meds review, Venlafaxine has done wonders but I have hit a major plateau which is making me feel dreadful again. I am on the top dosage a GP can prescribe though so not sure where we go from here. I guess I will find out on the 23rd (lovely doc on AL and I don't want to see another one).

BDD is back.

2011-03-10T13:21:00.000Z

I had my hair cut. YAY! I had to sit in front of a mirror for an hour and I forgot my Kindle: Boooo.

This means I had an hour to contemplate my visage and it wasn't pleasant. I have a huge zit trying to come out on my nose, my skin looks like leather and I have a HUGE double chin because I am so ruddy fat. By the end of the haircut my hair felt great but my heart was so sad and heavy and it was a massive relief to move away from the mirror.

The diet got delayed as I got sick (I am still producing industrial amounts of snot 2 weeks later... bah!) and I couldn't face it but I am back on track now. So I reckon I have at least 70 lbs to loose, sob (yes I really am that fat), although ideally I would like to loose about 98. However if I can get into a size 10 and not look too flabby I will be happy. I have always weighed more than I look so I don't want to take things down too far.

Dieting is pretty scary though as I know I do one of two things, I either obsess to the point of ridiculousness or I rebel. Neither is good so I think I will start up Mr McKenna on my iphone again and listen to that instead of Audio Books when I am going to sleep. Maybe a two pronged attack will help?!

As for my skin, back to forcing myself to take care of myself. It is so so easy to think "why bother" when it comes to skin care etc. I don't wear make up everyday so it isn't like my skin suffers from that application but equally I suppose it doesn't have the same protection as someone who wears it daily.

Sigh, Being a grown up is so hard sometimes!

Worries about Phoebe.

2011-03-09T17:18:00.000Z

I love my big girl so much, she is so like me. But for this reason I worry about her all the time. She is very sensitive to criticism and getting things wrong and is a total perfectionist and she strops when she can't do something the first time she tries it. She likes things to go to plan and worries and stresses if they don't.

What worries me most is that she is quite a slow burner where friends are concerned. Last year all the old friends she has came to her birthday party but none of the school friends we invited came. Ok so it was snowy but when people made it from Chelmsford and Worthing it makes it a bit rich that people who live locally didn't bother coming. I worry that she is a slow burner on that one like me, but once she has a friend she loves them dearly (also very like me) and stays loyal. It makes me so sad at swimming when she tries to be friends with one of the girls who doesn't, for whatever reason, want to be friends with her. She just wants to be liked for who she is!

I predict that once she cracks reading she will devour stories and books just as I did. She already LOVES listening to stories when we are in the car (Harry Potter is her current favourite!) and so we are planning on buying her a ipod touch for her birthday so we can load a whole load of stories on for her. I hope she doesn't become as much of a loner as I have though and I REALLY hope that her schooling doesn't go the same way mine did. Granted she is unlikely to suffer a bereavement at 10 which will affect her badly but also I hope she doesn't suffer under any bullies like I did for so long. They destroyed my confidence and it is only now, almost 20 yrs later, I am starting to get it back.

Being a parent is the hardest job I have ever done. I just hope I am doing enough to protect them and their wonderful innocent spirits for the cruelty in the world.

Buy a fancy dress costume?! BUY?! NEVER!

2011-03-08T21:13:00.000Z

The girls have been invited to a friends Star Wars party. Fancy dress is optional (ha ha ha!) but of course I had to rise to the challenge. I can't help myself, it is like an inner need to rise to the challenge so no sooner than I had heard of the party and it's theme I was on google looking for characters for the girls to go as. They had right of veto so alas R2D2 and C3PO bit the dust (something about how they couldn't be robots because they couldn't do metal poos and wees...) and they poo pooed the idea of going as Ewoks once I showed them what they were.

Clara then applied hands to hips and declared her want, nay NEED, to go as a Princess so she is going as Leia with the obigatory chelsea buns on side of head and Phoebe can be her Mum (I will not be telling them this gem of information as it is bound to be misused) and go as Padme. Phoebe as Padme is rather apt as I am fairly sure the Birthday Boy will be going as Darth Vader and they were apparently b'friend and g'friend at Preschool. In fact I believe they were planning on marriage at one point so it seems fitting all in all.

Anyway back to the costumes. Clara's will be a long white dress with a polo shirt underneath it, a silver belt and I will make her chelsea buns from a hairband and, probably, some brown wool. Phoebe's has been a little more complicated, she is going as the fighter version of Padme rather than dressing her up in some strange over the top dress and face paint (I have neglected to tell Phoebe this is an option also...). So I have bought some white leggings and a white polo top from ebay and will go at them with a Silver Sharpie to make them more in line with what she wore. I have emailed Granny to see if she has a cream pashmina or similar we could use for her cloak and I have even bought her a pair of beige boots to complete the ensemble. The only thing left is a holster and her blaster... which is causing my head to hurt as I don't like the idea of her playing with guns or weapons at only 5 years old. I suspect I will have to cobble something together out of a loo roll or something.

Why can't I just go into a costume shop and BUY what we need?! Because that would be a lot easier but a lot less fun and a lot less of a challenge for me! I will do some pics when they are all done up in their costumes!

I don't have children! I have fish!

2011-03-06T20:49:00.001Z

As a treat we decided to take the girls swimming today. They each have a lesson in the week and have been swimming regularly since they were around 3 months old! Any way we got there and they were both bouncing to get in the water and swim and once they did they barely hit the surface to breathe.

Paul hasn't seen them swim since, well, I don't remember but it has been a while so he was amazed to see Clara propelling herself towards him under the water, Phoebe backstroking passed him with ease and then flipping over to swim on her front. Then we let them do a bit of jumping in and they put the older children to shame with their ability! Clara was in water that must have been 3 x her height in depth and didn't bat an eyelid and kept jumping in, swimming to me and then pushing off to go and swim back to the side to jump again!

A really good improvement was that they both thought the wave machine was ace, this is a breakthrough for Clara as last time we were in Greece she took umbridge (in the way onlyt she can) with the sea and refused to go in at all. Hopefully this year she will be in like a shot and enjoy herself in the water the way Phoebe does.

When it was time to get out (after an hour!) we had to bribe them with a snack and a drink. Phoebe wanted to know if we could do that then go back in the water! I think come the summer they are going to be more in the water than out in Greece! I can't wait :D

Oh and when we got home Phoebe wrote in her book about it:

her writing is getting there slowly and it is getting better!

I should not be allowed into Supermarkets unaccompanied.

2011-03-04T10:47:00.001Z

Well, when I say unaccompanied. I mean I should take a proper grown up with me, not a child (dear GODS not a child... that is the way to madness I tell thee!). I dropped the girls off at school (hurrah!) and headed over to Sainsburys with the simple plan of buying enough Ginger Ale to last me for a while as they don't sell it in Little Tescos (tsk tsk). So I was very good, got my trolley headed over to the ginger ale and picked up enough (12 bottles... well they are small!). Then I had a little wander, herein lies my undoing. The following fell into my trolley:

1 packet of pancakes
1 bottle of lemon juice to go with the above
1 Hello Kitty Notebook (for Phoebe)
2 Jamaican Ginger loaves (BOGOF... it would be rude not to)
1 box of cheap crunchy nut cornflakes.
A starter kit for growing Sunflowers

Oops.

I am considering it my reward for managing to a, walk to the Little Tesco with the girls yesterday b, buying only what we needed and c, not murdering the smallest child who insisted on going out wearing her Cinderella Dress and pushing her pushchair with a fairy puppet in.

Good Enough... It's an evil goal

2011-03-02T21:21:00.001Z

Who defines when something or someone is good enough? I worry all the time about this goal, am I a good enough mother, friend, daughter, photographer, writer, cleaner, cook etc etc. I look all around for proof, but instead of looking for proof that I am I seem to look and find proof that I'm not. It is so easy to find evidence and think the worst of myself that I have almost given up looking for the proof that I am good enough.

I wish life came with a manual sometimes. A nice book to figure out my mind would be bloody fantastic sometimes!

A glimpse into Clara's imagination!

2011-03-01T10:35:00.000Z

A few people have commented that this advert reminds them of my girls:

Well people, Clara uttered the immortal line of "I don't like boys!" yesterday, in response to another video I was watching. Apparently she only likes girls... hmm.

That said she does have a passion for the Disney Princesses and that now includes Rapunzel after I bought them the book. She likes to pretend to read said book to anyone who will sit still for longer than 3 seconds. She doesn't do a bad job of telling the story either. She surpassed herself yesterday though, although before I tell that story it is important to realise that Clara's preferred state of being is naked. Preferably all but definitely partial. Usually this manifests after a bathroom visit... she often comes down naked from the waist down. I would like to think this is merely a 3 yr forgetful state but when she pounces into the living room and screeches "Look Mummy my BOTTOM!" and wiggles it at me, well...

Anyway, yesterday she came down semi naked so I told her to go and put her skirt and knickers back on. Which to her credit she did. Only her skirt was now on her head:

It took a little while but eventually we established that she was Rapunzel and she was trying to let her hair down over the side of the sofa! She was quite happily playing in her own little world for ages. Then when I retired to the kitchen to clear up a little I next saw her waltzing past me (and yes, I mean waltzing!) wearing nothing but her top, knickers, a big pair of tinkerbell wings, a pair of cinderella play shoes, a hand bag and her sisters bright orange swimming hat. I didn't ask what she was doing then and she had stripped it by the time I could find a camera.... dagnamit!

Half Term will be the death of me!

2011-02-23T16:28:00.000Z

We are half way through and I am exhausted already!

Monday we had friends over and a house of 4 adults, 7 children. Impressively the only casualty was easily fixable if unfathomable. The two tiny two year olds (and I mean tiny... they are both titches!) managed to take Phoebe's wardrobe door off! I am grateful it didn't thwack anyone on the way down but it was absolutely priceless, their guilty faces, Phoebe's overly dramatic tears and the culprits older siblings grassing them up!

Yesterday was swimming day and we popped into town before swimming and bought a couple of Wii games and had a wander to kill some time. Then we popped back home to get P's swimming stuff and I had the bright idea of asking next door's workmen to quote for making the front garden pretty. I have tried shingle and cats used it as a great big litter tray (ick!), we tried turfing it but it turns out I am not very good at turfing and it was a bugger to maintain. So now it was time to pave it. They called me back later that night with a quote and I accepted so...

Today we have been in all day as the workmen have been doing our front garden! Well ok we didn't have to stay in all day but I am a nosey parker / control freak and like to watch them work! It looks a billionty times better!

But as a result we are all very very BORED now. I am going to text my friend later to see if she fancies a playdate tomorrow as Phoebe and Clara are very keen on seeing her children. If that doesn't happen I might have to attempt [gulp] soft play or the Cinema as staying at home will end in the murder of two small shouty children. Not Good.

2 more days... well 3 really as Paul has his first 20 mile run on Saturday so will be fit for nothing afterwards I should think! Especially as he is running it at the same time as he will be running the marathon so he can figure out when and what to eat prior to running.

Can she build it?

2011-02-17T15:20:00.000Z

YES SHE CAN!

Hurrah, the new toy storage arrived today and building it gave me a much needed Rage outlet. I have had a bad BAD morning with both an epic Mummy Fail and a related Wife Fail.

Mummy Fail: Not only did I take Phoebe out of school yesterday to see my Pa and Stepma for the first time since October. But today I forgot it was Mufti day so Phoebe went in her uniform, until she saw the rest of her class in mufti whereupon we both had a lightbulb moment and I felt awful and she sobbed her wee heart out. I would normally have whipped home and grabbed her mufti clothes and popped them back in but for 2 things. 1, we have been barraged with texts over the last few days about not being on school grounds when it is in session and 2, last time I dropped anything in for her, a cardigan as it wasn't dry enough when school started and they were all in the wash, not only did said cardigan not get to her but all the children came out with a charming bright pink letter telling us various things like they don't have time to pop things to classrooms so could we please remember everything. Which frankly was a bit too much of a co-incidence for me! So her teachers told her she, and the other children whose parents forgot, could raid the dress up box. I still felt awful for her though and totally to blame for forgetting. I left her in tears which is always a hideous way to leave, especially when it is such a rare occurrence for my girls!

Wife Fail: I felt so awful I couldn't stem the tears and rang Paul in floods about it. Poor git hadn't even got to work without me sobbing down the phone incoherently at him! Clara thought I missed Phoebe or Daddy or that I didn't love her anymore (dramatic much!).

So I came back, ranted a bit and set to building the new toy storage unit in the living room. Stopping only to first talk to Mum and then throw up. I suspect Rage come down. Then I built the new expedit shelving unit for Phoebe's room. Needs a bit of a reshuffle in there to make it perfect but it is a good start.

Have just picked Phoebe up from school now only to be told that she told someone to Piss Off on Tuesday (someone else picks her up Tuesday pms and we were away yesterday so they only just told me). Mortified doesn't cover how I feel and I will now be monitoring my language even more studiously! I suspect that will make Mummy Fail 2 today. Oh rapture.

Introducing Poppy Bunny...

2011-02-14T21:57:00.000Z

I just realised I haven't introduced you to the latest in our household. I have mentioned her but not actually introduced her... how ROODE of me! So here she is:

She is about 4 months old and a Rex rabbit. She is incredibly soft and very sweet (she is currently sat next to me on the sofa, watching One Born Every Minute and occasionally giving me bunny kisses). She makes me laugh as she honks when she thumps... so funny! She has been introduced to Turvey and all was well until she moved towards his carrot (not a euphemism!) and then he attempted to start a fight but was swiftly separated by me and had his carrot taken off him t'boot. However I think things will be fine with them! Turvey has enjoyed his time on his own and is now much braver (he put up with being "loved" by 3 small girls this afternoon) and happier, I think he is going to like being Alpha Bunny for as long as Poppy lets him be! They will remain in separate hutches for a while yet though, I think Turv quite likes his Bachelor pad!

The "do you leave them in the car at petrol stations" debate...

2011-02-14T13:12:00.000Z

This seems to crop up time and time again. Here is my take on it... I have the choice of 2 scenarios:

Scenario 1 - I take the girls into the petrol station with me.

No, no. NO! Put it back, PUT. IT. BACK. Phoebe come here. Clara get out of that woman's way! Keep your fingers to yourself... NO! Do you want me to count to three? Ok... One..... Two..... Thre thank you now stay here. STAY HERE. Clara get up off the floor. No you can't have crisps. Phoebe come back here! No you can't have sweeties. I can't afford it. Don't touch that. Put it back. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. PHOEBE stop strangling your sister. Clara you aren't dead get up please. No there is no Prince Charming to kiss you. What are you talking about apple? Clara you don't LIKE apples whether they are poisonous or not. I don't know why that lady has hair... why do you have hair? Clara it isn't nice to point. Maybe she likes it like that. Phoebe, put it back. Stop wailing. Stop it... Phoebe, STOP. IT. Stop now or there will be no pudding. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I SAID NO. GET. IN. THE. CAR.

Scenario 2 - I leave them in the car.

Enter Petrol Station
Pay
Leave.

It is a no brainer surely?! In my5 yrs of parenthood and 30something years of life I have heard of very few petrol stations blowing up. Also in my 5 yrs of parenting not one person has tried to take my children out of the car. Perhaps I should leave the doors open to encourage them...

Anyway, lugging either a carseat, a child, a child and a carseat or two children across a forcourt knowing you are entering Tantrum Paradise is not appealing. So I leave them. Call me a bad parent, call me what you like... I like an easy life!

Under Pressure.

2011-02-13T09:01:00.000Z

Clara starts school in September and then I have to Get On With My Life. You have no idea how absolutely fucking terrifying this is. I am a jack of all trades but master of none and I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. The thought of having to do it puts a lump in my throat and makes me feel physically sick and teary.

I have a few major issues.

1, I enjoy doing lots of things but I am not actually good enough to do any of them professionally (and yes I include photography in this).

2, I need something that is either going to pay well straight away so I can afford wrap around care for the girls. OR fit in with school hours (moon on a stick anyone?!).

3, I currently take enough ADs to keep me stable whilst I am at home and don't go out a lot. I don't know how I will cope in any other environments for sustained periods.

Just a few worries then! I need to really starting thinking about this because I have roughly 7 months to make decisions before I have to start doing something about it properly. I feel sick with the stress of it!

The Post Office.

2011-02-09T20:47:00.000Z

Paul is out so I am feeling all retrospective whilst I wait for my curry. I am thinking about what things I have to work at, what issues about myself I have to tackle before I feel more normal. I read a friend's blog and she is doing 101 things in 1001 days so I might write a list for that. But I will have to incorporate the things that, in my head at least, are huge hurdles.

The biggest one is The Post Office. I don't know what it is about it that gives me the heebie jeebies but it does. It takes me AGES to work up to going to it and I hate ever second I am in there. Possibly because it does bring out the worst in people somehow. People want it to be functional and it isn't very at the moment. Admittedly it was worse before they modernised it as then it was all about the hustle and bustle that I find very stressful. Now it is just the association with that I think! I hate it, I feel sick even thinking about going. It is also because it is In Town and I loathe going in on my own, especially walking in. I feel so vunerable when I am out still! I worry that the security guards are following me because I must look suspicious as I am worrying (vicious cycle anyone!).

I really need to work hard at this as being a home body is fine until we hit Easter Holidays and I have 2 small children climbing the walls!!

Bloody Foxes...

2011-02-08T20:09:00.000Z

I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that they are, in fact, out to get us. Last year one bit Kit's arse resulting in a lovely trip to the OOH's vets and a nice big bill. Oh and about a month in the Cone Of Shame for Kit. Then one of the gits somehow got our lovely Topsy Bunny [sob sob], no idea how she got out of the hutch mind you, either a very clever fox, a very dim me or a very sneaky child... all are possible. But after searching and finding no trace of her we suspected a fox got her. This was confirmed a few days later when we found Topsy Colour fur in the garden.

She has been gone for about a month now and Turvey is one unhappy chap so time to get him a new girlfriend. This means a new hutch, a new hutch with a run, a new hutch with a run that is Fox Proof (we hope). Sigh. New hutch arrived today so I put that up injuring my thumb in the meantime and now I have insight into what an utter pain in the bum it must be being a monkey. New bunny is due to be picked up tomorrow and is, hopefully as I haven't seen her yet, a Doe Rex who is about 4 months old we think. Not a rescue this time alas as the man we got Turv from has moved too far away. So tomorrow I have to do the following in 3 hours.

Paint small area of wall that I was meant to do except the beloved didn't take the TV down.
Drive over to Kent, buy extortionate rabbit, drive home
Settle Rabbit in
Research bonding rabbits
Start Bonding rabbits
Ideally paint the second coat in the living room

So not much then eh?! Aside from the decorating it is ALL that ruddy foxes fault. Git.

(on the upside, found my meds so am slightly less bonkers than recently)

Playground Games...

2011-02-07T19:57:00.000Z

Or a small insight into the scary recesses of Phoebe's mind.

Me: What did you do today?

Phoebe: Played Hamsters

Me: Oh? How do you play that then?

Phoebe: Well there are 3 people who play the hamsters and 1 who plays the cat.

Me: Sounds fun, were you a cat or a hamster?

Phoebe: Don't be silly Mummy I was the Mum!

Me: [getting a bit confused] Well what did you do?

Phoebe: [now sounding as though she is talking to an idiot] tell the cat NO!

Me: Erm, why?

Phoebe: Because the cat has to try and eat the hamsters!

Me: Ooohhhhh....

I fear her sometimes...She has the craziest imagination!

If I close my eyes do I still exist?

2011-02-06T00:06:00.001Z

I often feel like a square peg in a world of round holes. Like there is something about me that just doesn't fit, no matter how hard I try. I can't explain it in great depth but it is a feeling I have carried for as long as I can remember. The Amazing Forgetable Woman maybe?!

Maybe it is because I have to try? Being sociable, no matter the impression I give, does not come easy to me and I struggle in a lot of situations. I try and be nice and chatty but the problem is I am not very interesting (see baby bore post that I would link to I'd I weren't on my iPhone!). I don't have a lot in my life and I find people who do a bit scary and intimidating if truth be told. I wish I didn't as deep down I am fascinated by the wonderful phenomenon of humanity. I worry (more than ever since the breakdown) that people see me as a perpetual eeyore and as much as I try to hide what ever is my brains torment of choice I am never feel like I have done a good enough job. Probably because I need more than anything to let go of the reins and throw an almighty tantrum about everything. That won't happen though as it means loss of control over the only thing I have control over inside me.

Gah! This self pitying post has been bought to you by a missing pack of 75mg tablets. Proving once more I am still too bonkers to go without.

If there was ever any doubt about Clara's manipulation skills....

2011-02-04T22:03:00.001Z

Clara has had slapped cheek, although in true Clara style she was fine until the rash came up where upon she turned into even more of a Drama Queen than usual. So she has been off school for the last two days [manical laughter]. Yesterday I felt quite sorry for her as she did look as if I had walloped both her cheeks to a red frenzy and they were hot to touch although she only decided she was "poorly sick" once I told her she couldn't go to school. Anyway we headed to Asda whereupon I felt unusually generous to the poor wee soul and so purchased Snow White at the bargain price of £7 (given that we watched it 5 times in 24 hrs it is def a bargain!). I also purchased her a Disney Princess magazine and we read some in a vain attempt to convince myself that Disney Princesses are all empowering and shit like that.

Today I was a little less sympathetic, mostly as I tried to drop her off at school and she wasn't allowed so I was in a bad mood as I had to look after my own daughter. She got home, stripped off and donned her Cinderella dress ready to watch showing number 5 of Snow White. Halfway through I was given the order to "PAUSE IT" as she had to go to the toilet. A little while later she started calling me upstairs. Now bad mother that I am I was in the middle of a tomb exploration in Sims 3 and knowing full well she is capable of toileting solo I didn't want to go up. The conversation went thus:

Clara: Muuuuuuuuuummmy

Me: Coming

Clara: Muuuuummmmmmyyyyyyy, I needs tap on.

Me: yes yes I am just coming hang on a minute...

Clara: Muuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Me: [at crucial point of tomb]YES?!

Clara: I loves you

Me: [guilt button firmly pressed, pauses sims, goes upstairs to clear up small child]

Gah... the child has me wrapped around her finger! Mind you a dear friend described a Clara tantrum as "like being trapped at the business end of a jet engine during take-off" so I will give myself a well deserved break from The Mummy Guilt and look forward to those blissful 3 hours on Monday Morning where I am sans children. But with a paintbrush this time :D

It's official... I married a madman!

2011-02-03T20:08:00.003Z

My wonderful husband is, voluntarily (!), running 26.2 miles around London on the 17th April... AKA The London Marathon. I think he is crackers as frankly I wouldn't run to the car unless it was raining, but then I suppose that makes him the better person doesn't it!

He is running in aide of The Neuro Foundation which is, I am sure you agree, a worthy cause and if you care to sponsor him and his team mates (Gary and Stephen) they will be very appreciative:

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/team/GaryPaulandStephenruntheMarathon

Training is going really well so far, Paul ran 15 miles last Saturday in 2hrs 20min (although he is keen to point out that it isn't at "Race Pace" [sigh]) and is on track for being able to run the whole thing come The Big Day. Naturally we are doing all we can to help and aide his training in a more all round way than running along roads so this weekend in addition to running 12 miles on Saturday he will also be working out his upper body by painting the living room ceiling. Aren't I kind to him, ensuring a well rounded body work out?!

His supporters will, of course, be there for him (Possibly with glittery Pom Poms if Clara gets her way) at the start and finish. And because of the wonderful app he is using on his phone we should be able to track him which is pretty dang cool!

Seriously though, I am very very proud of him. I know this has been one of his big ambitions since I met him (so 10yrs ago) but I remember him laughing at me when I suggested he made it a reality a few years ago as he didn't think he was up to it!

A movie of thoughts....

2011-02-01T23:24:00.000Z

Over Christmas Paul and I recorded the film Mr Majoricum's Wonder Emporium mostly for the children because I liked the sound of the title and a little bit of the bumph, I mean what is not to like about a magical toy store?

Well we sat down to watch it and the girls just weren't interested but it absolutely captivated me. It tells such an important lesson. It tells me that death shouldn't be about mourning the loss of someone but celebrating the life of them. Something I have always believed anyway really but this film expresses it in such a wonderfully tangible way. It describes our lives as a story, and how when one ends another begins and that is such a perfect way of looking at things. No story can last forever and we should make our story the most wonderful one we can imagine.

There are quotes in this movie that I would love to have read at my funeral. Not in a morbid way but because it totally inspires me to make my story as wonderful as possible. This is, I think, my favourite quote:

When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words. I've lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest "He died."

Isn't that a wonderful way to look at life and death?

Imbolc is here.

2011-02-01T21:15:00.000Z

The wheel of the year turns ever onwards and today we celebrate the light slowly returning and anticipate the life that stirs in the soil beneath our feet. Today I decorated a Pentagram and a Goddess form for the Kitchen, I have one more to do for above the Front Door but that can wait until tomorrow:

I also made candles with the girlies... that is to say we made Beeswax candles and they were totally delighted to be able to make them on their own and even more excited when I lit them for them as they ate their tea.

I also managed to clean the house and make a plait loaf as an offering, well some of it anyway! The girls and I also anointed all the windows and the front door to banish the negative energy and welcome in the positive.

It was so much fun doing it all with the children and they were so happy to be helping me and getting involved with all aspects of our faith.

Crafting for Imbolc

2011-01-30T11:53:00.000Z

This morning I got up, sorted the clothes out and then headed to my kitchen to make some candles. As you do.

My only disappointment when buying the stuff I needed is that John Lewis had run out of star shaped silicone cupcake cases. Still round ones will suffice.

I also bought pipecleaners the other day and attracted a few strange looks making a St Brighid's cross whilst sat in the waiting room with Clara waiting for Phoebe to finish ballet. However I now have a red and silver one adorning my fireplace in the living room and a silver and gold one over the hob in the kitchen:

Next on my list is a Salt Dough Goddess figure and on Tuesday I think I will make a braided loaf for the girls and I to enjoy whilst we bless the house after school. I, of course, get to do the spring cleaning whilst they are at school but hey ho! I might leave their rooms until they come home and we can do it together before blessing the house.

I am loving getting them involved my faith so much! They love it too as it is very hands on and crafty which appeals to their love of making messes!

Mojo... where for art thou mojo.

2011-01-26T22:11:00.000Z

I am feeling a bit blah at the moment. I don't know why really, nothing major has happened recently and I am feeling reasonably stable. But I have definitely lost the flow of the housework. I suspect it is partly January blues and partly the fact that I am desperate to decorate the living room so tidying up seems a little fruitless. Still that shouldn't really affect the rest of the house but it seems to be doing just that.

So in an effort to regain a little control today I attacked the window with the heat gun. This may seem like a small achievement but the size of my window makes it a massive one! I have managed about half I think... I am just gearing up to the top bit of the front frame. Then tomorrow I will attempt to tackle the outside of the frame and the inside (for which I need water and foil so I don't accidentally burn through the ropes as that would be a disaster!). Maybe even if there is time a spot of sanding too. Once that is done I just have one and a half skirting boards to strip and the door frame. Then the room will be ready for decorating come Easter (or sooner if I can convince Paul...).

I will get my mojo back if it kills me!

Baby bore.

2011-01-20T16:41:00.000Z

I joined Twitter the other day and realised the only thing I have to post about is the children. Then I had a small worry that I was a baby bore. I probably am but you know what? It isn't through choice, I mean of course I love my children more than anything but I don't think the sun shines out of their bottoms. it is because I have very little else in my life to talk about. Last time I went out on on the razzle was a night out last year. I last went to the cinema to see a movie with my friend Jane to see Harry Potter around Christmas time. Before that I last went to the cinema (I am discounting the times I have been to Kids Am), well I don't remember! I spend my days with my children and the only other adults I see briefly are the other parents at Preschool and mostly that is a nod and a smile before departing home for a little peace or to look after the children at the end of the day.

I struggle in conversation because I don't know much about what is going on in the world. I mean I have snippets of news I can talk about but nothing consistant. I don't know what is going on in the music industry, or what films are due out (not a lot of point looking until they come onto DVD as the chances of me going to the cinema are slim to none). Paul and I don't go out on dates or out to dinner very often because we either lack funds or a babysitter, mostly both! So no, I don't have a lot else to discuss outside of the children although I do desperately try.

You know what though? Both Paul and I like our life most of the time. The girls are funny and smart and frustrating in equal measures. We enjoy spending time with them, we enjoy the quiet when they are at school and we enjoy each others company. I do miss "the outside world" and enjoy going out in it when I get a chance. But mostly my world is my family and so that is what I talk about.

So Proud of Phoebe!

2011-01-20T10:06:00.002Z

We were sat in the car on the way home from swimming the other night when I heard this from the back:

"Cuh - ih- nnnn - guh.... KING! Mummy That sign says King"

This is the first time she has voluntarily read something and since then we have been reading a book a night from her Biff, Chip and Kipper series of books. This is because of her glasses I am sure of it, since she has been able to see things her pictures have gotten so much more detailed and she is taking notice of so much more!

Yay for my big girl! I was always bemused that she didn't read quickly as she has always loved books and it didn't sit with her other abilities like maths etc. Now, of course, it turns out she couldn't see the words well enough to read!

Glasses rock!

Never enough...

2011-01-18T20:26:00.000Z

ARGH! I will start this by saying it is Tuesday AKA Blue Arsed Day and hence I have reached the end of it in a significantly worse mood than I started. But....

Why oh why is what we do never enough? Why is it they always want more. It is soul destroying when you have organised nice things for them and all they can do is they want xy or z. Drives me to distraction. Can't they focus on having AB or C instead constantly looking for what is next or that they don't have D. I feel worn out and abused after a day like today where they have moaned constantly despite it being ballet and swimming day and consequently Fat Ron day.

It is one of the things that really really sucks about parenthood. I wish they could step back and see all the wonderful things they have. I am so sick of Phoebe bursting into tears at the drop of a hat over something so utterly ridiculous as timings of things.

Here endeth the rant.

Precision timing Clara...

2011-01-17T14:32:00.000Z

I just had to take Clara (and her new Sleeping Booty night light) up to the optician for a check. We thought it wise after we found out her big sister is as blind as a bad without glasses. On the way home we walked passed a rather, erm, fragrant scruffy man. So of course Clara pipes up with the following in the loud, carrying, child's voice reserved for just such occasions.

ERRRRRRR Mummy, what that smell... do you smell that smell?! It HORRIBLE... Yuck Mummy... Yuck yuck yuck.

[sigh] So I try and hush her by saying maybe someone wasn't able to have a shower this morning. Bad move... very bad bad bad move. She looked at me in horror...

Mummy that is DEEEEESGUSTING! Smelly yucky dirty man!

Don't you just love her?!

Getting a jump on the Imbolc cleaning.

2011-01-16T11:26:00.001Z

One thing I am really trying to do this year is give the house a damn good clean for each Festival. There are 8 Festivals in a Pagan year:

Samhain: 31st Oct
Yule: 21st December
Imbolc: 1st Feb
Ostara: 21st March
Beltane: 1st may
Litha: 21st June
Lughnasadh: 1st August
Mabon: 21st September

Each marks a turn of the wheel of the year, a slight change in the seasons or the light and a step in the endless circle that is the life of the Goddess and God. I like how it follows the seasons, marks the little things and how it is always a reminder that life is cyclical.

Anyway, with Imbolc approaching (15 days) I decided to get a jump on the cleaning. So I have taken the kitchen to bits and am sorting and washing EVERYTHING. Currently I am having a break as the dishwasher is giving my Kilner Jars a good wash before I can work through and sort my store cupboards. I can't remember the last time I did much to my shame so it is long overdue.

I also wanted to get going early on the cleaning so that I could leave lots of time for Imbolc crafts with the girls. I bought a beeswax candle kit that we can all do together on the 1st and light to mark the approaching spring.

It feels so good to have these 8 days to work towards all year, there is never long between them so there is always something to look forward to!

New Dooooooo! Mark 2

2011-01-13T21:48:00.000Z

Well if the pillar box red wasn't enough I have gone and had most of my hair chopped off! It is now in a rather swish looking choppy bob, shorter at the back and longer at the front. I need to dye my hair again but I will do that this morning, I have been painting Hello Kitty canvases for Phoebe's bedroom this evening. Besides it is messy and I need to work up to it! Here is my new hair:

I love it! In fact I love it so much I have already booked a maintenance cut for a couple of months time.... mind you my hair grows at such a rate I might need to bring it forward a bit! That is one good thing about bleaching dark hair, you can see exactly how much it grows! In 3 weeks it has grown just over 1 cm which is pretty fast I think! Anyway, it is 10pm now, time for bed as I have run out of white paint and so can't do anymore painting this evening!

Soooooo tired.

2011-01-11T21:20:00.001Z

First Blue-arsed-Tuesday of the spring term... so so so tired. Still Clara got her Miss Penny fix at Ballet and had a fabulous lesson. Phoebe forgot that she had a sore hand until after her swimming lesson and was unusually well behaved in the swimming pool. The Wood Stripping gits finally delivered back the doors and sill but still no sign of the glasses, still 3/4 things ticked off a list isn't bad I suppose!

I was meant to carry on stripping the paint off the woodwork today but I managed to knacker my wrists doing one wall of skirting yesterday so decided to give them a day (or 2) off.

I am too tired tonight to watch Glee even... there is something not right there. Still another morning to myself tomorrow and I have a hair cut booked in for Thursday so lots to look forward to this week.

waiting for the phone to ring.

2011-01-11T11:45:00.000Z

Booo I hate this. I am waiting for the call from the optician to tell me Phoebe's glasses are ready (the lenses had to be sent away to be made as thin as possible). Now I know she needs glasses I just want her to have them so she is no longer at a disadvantage at school and she can start enjoying learning letters and reading!

I am also waiting for a call from Paul to tell me that the doors and window sill we wanted stripped before Christmas have been delivered to him. I am particularly keen on the second one happening as it has been a major frustration and they have been arses. I wouldn't have been so het up but the bits I have had stripped are original features of the house so I really really really want them back in one piece!

Anyhoo back to glaring at the phone and willing it to ring!

Preparing for Imbolc.

2011-01-10T13:24:00.000Z

I am trying to bring a bit more of the Pagan into our lifestyle this year. It is important the children understand the wheel of the year and how we celebrate it. I like to keep things reasonably low key and as such am not big into ritual celebration. But I do like to mark occasions and the best way of doing that with the children is through [gulp] craft activities.

Imbolc is the celebration just before the spring comes. The goddess is recovering from the birth of her son at Yule, the light is growing stronger and stronger daily. It is a fire celebration so candles and flame feature heavily.

I am hoping one of our activities may be to make candles. I am going to try and track down some beeswax sheets for the girls to make candles from. I may make proper candles myself, I have seen a fab idea of garden candles that I might do with the girls (with them at a safe distance naturally). A little cooking might also be in order and setting out of candles at every window to light the house up. Although I think I will not leave them burning until dawn because of the fire hazard.

And, as always in this house, a Sabbat includes giving the house a jolly good clean to banish negativity and provide a nice environment to welcome positive energies and blessings in.

I must admit I am looking forward to Imbolc this year, should be good fun with the girls now they are old enough to properly take part in things!

Snigger!

2011-01-09T13:55:00.000Z

Phoebe has been on cracking form for the last few days.

This morning she took it upon herself to let us have a lie in, with the exception of asking Paul to get her and Clara breakfast. We slept until 10am! This was only interupted once with a scream of rage from Clara, this was followed by Phoebe coming to the bottom of the stairs and telling us "we have just had a little scream from Clara... sorry 'bout that"! When we finally woke up and went downstairs Phoebe told Paul that she had been watching Something Special and that there had been TWO Grandad Tumbles, she was so shocked she had to go and get a little drink of milk to calm her nerves!

She is so funny, so grown up sometimes for a 5 year old. She really takes on board things I tell her like being responsible and sensible with things. She is very disappointed that she doesn't have her glasses yet as she is desperate to wear them! Although she is also very excited about starting Ballet Lessons on Friday, she has excellent lines according to the lady who fitted her for ballet shoes as she commented she had been taught well!

She spent yesterday saying Happy Birthday to her Daddy as it was Paul's birthday. We had bought cake and cards for him (his Christmas Kindle was also his birthday gift) and we took him out for Wagamamas. Phoebe couldn't stop giving him birthday kisses. It was so sweet!

She is a pain in the bum sometimes but 90% of the time she is loving and caring and wonderfully funny! I do love my big girl!

04.01.11 - Specs!

2011-01-05T10:31:00.001Z

04.01.11 - Specs!
Originally uploaded by ***Vix***

So, turns out Phoebe is long sighted and needs glasses (due to arrive next week). Answers a lot of questions about why she isn't keen on reading or very good at colouring, she can't see it well enough! Hopefully her glasses will help solve this for her and she will come on leaps and bounds.

Still a bit of a shock really, I have never worn glasses and now my little girl is going from not wearing them to wearing them all the time!

Roll on the start of Ballet lessons.

2011-01-03T19:04:00.000Z

Clara got a Jolina Ballerina Doll for Christmas from Papous and YiaYia. She loves it, it is pink and sparkly and it is also ballet related so a guaranteed hit for Clara! Anyway it came with a CD that I had hidden away as I knew what would happen when she found it. She did today and I was right, she vanished and when she came back she was wearing a tutu and brandishing her ballet shoes at me with requests to "listen to moosic". We are now on round 2 of the CD and she has danced solid for the last half an hour:

We are now watching her Angelina Ballerina DVD too. Bless her she is totally addicted and is already talking about doing tap dancing (like her friend Millie) when she is big enough bless her!

Happy New Year.

2011-01-01T21:53:00.000Z

I wonder what 2011 will bring? 2010 has been a year of highs and lows, I am hoping 2011 will be more highs.

I have started Photo A Day again. Gulp. I have set tolerance levels at zero for now to protect myself but we shall see what comes I think. Still Day One down and only 364 to go eh?!

Done and dusted for another year...

2010-12-25T22:03:00.000Z

A truly lovely day. Two delighted little girls with more presents than they knew what to do with. Top present awards go to the Walkie Talkie from Papous to Phoebe, running shoes from Granny to Paul, The Cinderella Dress from us to Clara and for me... it has to be the wonderfully gorgeous surprise necklace that my wonderful husband bought me, it is truly lovely (although alas I can't wear it yet as the chain is just a little too short for me!). An honourable mention has to go to the lovely Mahri-Claire and Greg who had send a picture (or two) off to a sketch artist. I just love it and can't wait to frame it and put it on the wall (Ikea here I come tomorrow!) for all to see!

We had a lovely lunch of 5 spiced duck with asparagus and dauphinoise potatoes (before you look shocked the girls had sausages... sigh). And have had a nice relaxing day all in. Seeing friends tomorrow so we are looking forward to that.

I hope Father Christmas bought you all you desired and deserved and that you sleep well and satisfied tonight.